One thing I always tell clients is that a bad day feels the same whether you have been doing this work for 3 years or 3 weeks.
We have to understand that feeling good about ourselves isn’t going to erase self-doubt or emotional pain. We are complex beings with feelings and life will never be one note.
The last thing you want to do is beat yourself up for beating yourself up or add “be positive all the time” to the never-ending list of things you “should” be. I prefer to set my bar to slightly ornery.
We all have unique tender spots and wounds that can make it harder for us to love ourselves. They can make us more sensitive to everyday stresses and things like criticism or perceived judgment.
We have to be careful that we are not applying the magical thinking of dieting to body positivity/acceptance.
Expecting to feel good all the time or “love yourself” everyday is unrealistic and sets us up for more feelings of failure when we’re not feeling this way.
Expecting for life to be rainbows and skittles when you feel good in your body is unrealistic and ignores the deep wounds that often create our shame. We need to make room for the natural ebb and flow of our emotions and circumstances.
I believe we can become more loyal to our values, beliefs and who we are. I believe we can reclaim a peace of mind and free ourselves of the burden of the diet mentality and constant body criticism.
But, I don’t think we can make ourselves bulletproof. Especially not to the things that touch on the tender spots within us.
And I certainly know that we cannot erase all of the emotional discomfort that comes with being human.
Some of the biggest acts of self-love are the most painful… leaving a relationship, standing up for yourself, setting boundaries or not meeting other’s expectations.
Ups and downs: normal
Bad days: normal
Feeling more “meh” about your body than positive: normal!
For help managing bad body days, check out this podcast and post:
Fearless Rebelle Radio #96: How to Work Through Body Shame