In this episode of Eat the Rules, it’s the body image series and I’m talking about why you need to stop weighing yourself or any form of tracking your body size or food/movement.
I also talk about five reasons why scales and tracking devices make our body image worse, and why it’s important to ditch them.
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This is eat the rules, a podcast about body image self worth, anti dieting, and intersectional feminism. I am your host summer Innanen. a professionally trained coach specializing in body image self worth and confidence and the best selling author of body image remix. If you’re ready to break free of societal standards and stop living behind the number on your scale, then you have come to the right place. Welcome to the show.
This is episode 242. And it’s another episode in the body image series I’m talking about why you need to stop weighing yourself or using other tracking devices or measurements. In this episode, specifically, I talk about what you my Instagram followers said about your relationship to scales and tracking devices. My own personal story with the scale and tracking devices, five reasons why they make our body image worse. What about Fitbits? Answering that question, and why it’s important to ditch the various tracking devices that I’m going to talk about today. Before we begin, let me give a shout out to Anna beams for leaving this review. I’ve discovered summers work only recently, but it has already rocked my world big time. So many new realizations each episode is challenging. My old mindset wants to scream. But in the end, it’s freeing to be reminded of our inherent worth beauty, goodness and strength No matter how we look. Thank you for raising awareness of such important topics and for tackling them so authentically, with a No BS style. Thank you so much Anna beams. What it’s a great review. I really appreciate that. So much so and I’m so glad that your old mindset wants to scream because that means that you’re changing. So that’s awesome. I would love it. If you left a review for the show. You can do that by going to iTunes search for eat the rules, then click ratings and reviews and click to leave a review. You can also help out the show by subscribing or following or whatever button you see on the platform that you are using. And don’t forget to grab the free 10 Day body confidence makeover at summer innanen.com. Forward slash freebies with 10 steps to take right now to feel better in your body. Hey, if you’re a professional listening to this episode, and you’re someone who works with people who may also have body image struggles, I can help you to get the free body image coaching roadmap at summer innanen.com forward slash roadmap. In this episode, I’m going to be talking about why we need to stop weighing ourselves if you haven’t already, what you my social media audience said about your relationship to scales and tracking devices. My story with the scale and tracking devices, five reasons why they make our body image worse. Answering the question What about Fitbit, and why we need to ditch all of these different tracking devices. I just want to read something to you that I wrote 13 years ago no to 20 13/3 2013 I wrote this, okay, I’m gonna read it to you. Are you loving something in your life make you feel less confident belittled or like a failure? Is there something in your life that controls your actions and dictates the decisions in your life? Does it make you feel guilty and ashamed? Do you feel your achievements are worthless because you’re not receiving the support that you deserve? You might think No, I don’t have anyone in my life that does that. But I want you to think harder. I’m not talking about a human being or another person. I’m talking about your scale, we’re measuring tape or genes that you try on to see if your body has stayed the same weight or your Fitbit. If you wouldn’t let someone in your life treat you this way, then why do we allow inanimate objects to do that to us? So that little piece there was something I wrote in 2013 called Are you in an abusive relationship with your scale? So I’ve been talking about this for a long time.
And one of the first things I do when I work with people is ask them about whether they use a scale or another tracking device. And throughout the years I found that a lot of people don’t necessarily use scales anymore if they’ve been listening to me for a while but they do use other tracking measurements. Some of the more hidden ones, maybe like mirror checking or trying on a pair of a particular pair of jeans to see if they fit. So I also pulled my
Get social media audience about it. And I wanted to ask them the following question. So I asked them, Do you weigh yourself? And 76% of people said they used to 4% never did and 20% still do. So you’re not alone? I think it’s really common. The next question I asked is, do you use other forms of tracking like Fitbit, or measuring tapes are tracking food and 65% of you said you used to 10% never did, and 24% still do. What other forms of tracking did you use or still use? Most of you said things like tracking calories, or monitoring food or exercise, whether that’s, I don’t know, like, I used to do it through an Excel spreadsheet or using apps like Weight Watchers or a Fitbit or an Apple Watch. Mirror checking was another really popular one body fat measurements. And another really popular one was seeing if if clothes or someone said jewelry if jewelry could fit, which I was like, whoo, I haven’t heard that one before. So that’s a new one that I gotta watch out for. The next question I asked is if you stopped weighing yourself, was it hard to stop? 45%? said yes. 26% said kind of and 29% said no. So it definitely skews more towards Yes. And I think that that’s totally normal. And we can talk about that too. And then I said, if you used to weigh or track your body size, what helped you stop, and most of you screamed, getting professional help therapy, eating disorder treatment, or working with me, or just other people on the internet influencing you. And then some of you said things like getting rid of the scale, just working on yourself worth deleting the apps realizing that the number was just never helpful. I want to ask, Do you feel better without it? 78% of you said yes, 19% of you said a little bit and 3% said no, I miss it. So that was really nice to see that the majority said that they feel much better without it. And I think if you miss it, that’s that’s also a normal period of time to go through. So I wouldn’t say that you’re abnormal there. But just that maybe some extra support is needed to kind of get get over it. It’s hard, it becomes this like addiction. And so if you still use something to track your body size, or you still have urges to do so you’re not alone, I really struggled with that for decades, for for years and years and years, I weighed myself component like compulsively because I had one in the bathroom. And so every time I went to the bathroom, I would step on it before I went to the bathroom. And after I went to the bathroom, and I have a really small bladder. So I was weighing myself like 20 times a day maybe. And as my obsession with exercise and food deepened, I also started to use things like Excel spreadsheets to track my food. And that was another way that gave me like that sense of control. And that way to kind of assess like, what am I allowed to eat? How should it move my body. And I remember sitting at my desk and inputting food one day, and there was this little rational whisper that came from within me that said, Am I going to have to do this for the rest of my life. But I pushed that thought away, because I don’t even know why at the time. Like I just remember pushing it away. I think in hindsight, I just couldn’t grapple with the thought of doing that I couldn’t grapple with the thought of of surrendering control, or not being under this like rigid path that I was on. I mean, I was just way too obsessed with it to be in that mindset to open my eyes that there was another way. And I think my diet brain had really convinced me that if I just kept things under control for a while, then I’d be able to eat normal again, which we know is complete bullshit, because that just doesn’t happen. Your body is always gonna fight back. And then there was a period of time where I used body fat calipers to also track my body fat percentage, which was really shaming, it was a really shaming experience. And that really only increased my obsession with my body. So when I finally had my awakening many, many years ago, and realize that I had a disordered relationship with food and exercise, and that my body image was really at the root of that. And how I valued myself was at the root of that. I started to use the scale less like I knew it was problematic, but I would still hop on it sometimes because like, I think a lot of these changes, they don’t really happen in one fell swoop. Many of them happen more gradually. I’m definitely the type of person that this transition happened more gradually. I didn’t just say like, Hey, Screw this, I’m never never going to step on it again. And I’m just going to eat whatever I want. No, I can’t. It came with a lot of fear for me. So everything I did was quite gradual. But one day, I remember I woke up in the morning, and I felt pretty good. And then I went and I stepped on the scale. And I immediately felt like a piece of shit because I weighed more than I had hoped. And that’s when I had this kind of epiphany of like, this thing has power over me this thing controls how I feel about myself. It controls what I do. And it really felt like an abusive relationship and I’m not compare actually comparing it to like domestic violence or anything like that, but it controlled my mood. It controlled what I ate, it controlled how I exercise, and it controlled how I valued myself, like this ridiculous piece of metal was controlling my sense of self worth. And that is when I decided to smash it as part of an upcoming photoshoot that I was doing for my nutrition
and coaching website at that time this was back in,
it would have been 2013, because it was when I wrote that piece. So and that is one of the most liberating things that I did was when I took the sledgehammer and I smashed it because it came with a lot of fear. But I was like, I gotta lead by example here. But once I got started, I was really able to kind of like tap into this rage that I had for this thing that had dominated my life for so long. It was this moment where I felt some reclamation of power. And once it was gone, I didn’t give myself the choice, right, like I had no choice, I couldn’t step on it again. And I was able to live so much more peacefully. And that’s not to say that that just happened the next day, and I was like, I’m at peace. Now, no, I was still really struggled, I was still quite insecure for a while. But over time, it became so much easier to learn to trust myself and to live in my body versus living in my head. And I think that that’s so much of the work I do with people is helping them live in their body versus living in their head. So that’s a great segue to the next thing that I wanted to talk about here, which are, which is which are, which is the five reasons why tracking devices or mirror checking, or things like that make our body image worse. Number one, they encourage a disordered relationship with food or movement. We’re not static beings, we’re not meant to weigh the same every day bodies change. And when we believe that we need to fit into this tiny, tiny box of what our size should be, then we end up fixating on food and movement in order to maintain that size. And it is nearly impossible, I hesitate to say impossible, because maybe there’s like some strange anomaly out there. But I think it’s nearly impossible to have a good relationship with food or movement. When our weight is involved in those decisions, it’s going to create a disordered relationship when our weight is involved in those decisions. So the tracking device does a couple things, it it is instilling this bullshit idea that all you need to do is eat less and move more in order to change your body, right, because that’s what we do, we step on the scale, we see a high number, we think I have to restrict food, or I have to move my body more. And we know for a fact that eating less and moving more does not actually change our body. It’s not a long term solution. Anytime people embark on that, like 90%, or 95% of the time, your weight is going to come back up and and often come back up higher. The other thing that this tracking device does that creates that disordered relationship with food and movement is that it’s instilling this idea that thinner is better and or healthier. And that belief fuels a disordered relationship with food and movement. Because we think, well, I need to restrict my food, or I need to move more in order to be thinner, or in order to be healthier. And that is none of that is true as well. So it encourages a disordered relationship with food and movement number true number number true. Number two, it disrupts our sense of Body Trust, we cannot trust our body, when we’re relying on tracking devices to tell us what we need to eat, or how we should move our body, it completely overrides our body’s signals. We’re going against our body signals, we’re giving our power over to these pieces of metal, these pieces of plastic, these things were invented by nerds in Silicon Valley. And if you step on a scale, and you’re using that information to decide what you should eat in a day, then that’s disrupting that trust with your body. And that trust that we have with our body is so important, because we’re born with it. Right? It’s what has been your say it’s your birthright. So that’s what they say, that’s their quote. And it’s true, you were born with these signals, we’re born with this ability to trust our body, and then that starts to get disrupted, and then when we engage in these devices, then that just breaks off that trust even more. And so when we can create that trust that that connection, again, when we can get rid of these things. So we can actually tune into what our body needs, then we will be so much more better off physically and mentally has let me just put it played out for you. And an example here. If you were to step on the scale, not like the number that you see. So then you think, Okay, well, I’m not going to have those cookies later that I know are going to be at my office. But then at some point, you’re gonna end up binging on them. If you wanted those cookies in the first place. I guess that’s the stipulation there. But if you were like if you had a craving for cookies, and they were there, and you’re like, oh, no, I can’t eat those because of the number on the scale. At some point, you’re going to end up binging on them or something else or some other way your body is going to compensate for it. Because you can not fuck around with biology. The third reason is that they influence our self worth. I think most of us can agree that we’ve had moments where we’ve woken up in the morning and we’ve actually felt half decent and then we either step on the scale or we try on a pair of jeans that don’t fit. And then we start to feel really bad about ourselves. And so when we are relying on these things, to tell us how we should feel about ourselves. We’re not
literally giving our power away to this piece of metal to say, here’s how you should think about yourself. Excuse me? No, you deserve so much more than that. You are an amazing human being. And you get to actually feel that that it already exists in your body, you may not know that you may not feel it. You mean like, What are you talking about somewhere I hate myself. But honestly, there is a there is a small part of you, maybe you can’t hear it so much. Now maybe it’s a little whisper that there’s a part of you inside of you, that knows that you deserve more that knows that you’re worthy that knows that you’re just this amazing gift to this world. And I told you the story about how when I woke up in the morning and actually felt pretty good, then I felt terrible. When I stepped on the scale. Like that’s ridiculous. We need to be more loyal to how we actually feel like that feeling when you get up in the morning versus what these things are telling us about how we should feel about ourselves. They don’t know you, they don’t have brains. They’re not people, even if they were people, their opinion shouldn’t matter. But I see it having such a huge influence on how we feel about ourselves as a whole. And that’s why I mean, the root of what I do with people when I’m working with them is help them to really divest that sense of self worth from things like other people’s opinions or how they look or their body size and things like that.
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Love fourth reason these tracking devices are not good for our body image is that they disconnect us from our body embodiment work is one of the foundational pieces of work I do with people. And to be embodied means that we can feel the sensations in our body, we feel connected to the signals and emotional energies we experience, it means we’re able to rely on these things to really determine how we feel about things and our wants and our needs. And most of the people I work with really described feeling disconnected from their body, they typically live up in their head, they feel disconnected from the sensations they feel, they don’t really trust them or they they’re not connected to what their needs are. Because they’re so hyper focused on like how they think they should be. And they don’t have a lot of sense of the intuitive signals that their body is sending them. And so a lot of times when I’m working with people, I find that we’re completely disconnected from from those things and our emotions too. Because keep in mind that body shame is often a coping mechanism diet is offering a coping mechanism to avoid those emotions. And so tracking devices really encourage that disconnection, they make it harder for us to tune in to what we’re really feeling, and what we want and what we need. So for example, maybe you do wake up in the morning, and you are feeling kind of anxious, and then you go and stuff on the scale. And there’s a number that you like, and then you feel good. And so you’ve kind of ignored like this body signal that, you know, there was maybe some anxiety there about something else or, you know, a need or a feeling that was that that needed some tending to and because of these devices, we become disconnected from those signals, and we rely on them to kind of, you know, tell us how we should think and feel. So we bypass those feelings. That’s what I’m trying to say, that are so important and need to be acknowledged. And when we can get rid of these devices we can start to integrate back into our bodies become more embodied, really get in tune with our emotions, get in tune with our wants and our needs and
and it just becomes like life just becomes so much better as a result. And the other thing I wanted to just say there was that I often see people using these devices as a way to cope or soothe emotions, because it’s giving us a sense of control, right. So it’s diverting our attention from the emotions that we’re really feeling. And I noticed this a lot with mirror tracking, clients who mirror check, they may do that more frequently, when they’re feeling more out of control, or, or they’re feeling more stress or anxiety. And that is a coping mechanism. What we want to do is bring our attention to the emotions that we’re really feeling. And the last reason that tracking devices are bad for our body image is that they encourage they encourage vigilance and monitoring, we can never be truly be at peace, when we have these behaviors at play. Because they waste time they waste energy, and they make it feel like we can only accept ourselves if we meet certain criteria or conditions. When I’m working with clients, my desire for them for you is to get to a place of peace, where you can have a lot more headspace back, and you feel comfortable in your body unconditionally. And you don’t feel like you have to always be monitoring or tracking or thinking something bad’s gonna happen if you loosen the reins a little bit. And it’s impossible to get to that place when tracking devices are used. Over the years, I’ve had a few people message me to say something like, I weigh myself every day, and I have a great relationship with food and my body. And my response is always like, Okay, first of all, why are you telling me this? Like, why do you follow my page, then?
I’m telling you this because like, these are messages I get. So I’m not actually having conversations with these people. So I don’t I don’t really get to ask them these questions that I would love to ask. But I think to myself, Well, why do you weigh yourself then if you have a good if you have already have a great relationship with food in your body, then why do you weigh yourself? What information is that giving you? And what is the value of that information? So long as we believe that thinner is better, we’re holding on to fat phobic beliefs, and anti fat biases. And it’s impossible to have unconditional acceptance of ourselves if we’re doing that. So even if you are the type of person that’s like, oh, I weigh myself every day, and I have a great relationship with food in my body. Even if you feel neutral about it. It’s still inculcating this belief that thinner is better. And the good relationship you have with yourself is likely conditional. Because if you really did feel neutral about it, then you wouldn’t need that data. You wouldn’t need that information that your body is a certain size, that those are my two cents. I mean, I’m open. Like if you have a different perspective on it, share it with me. I’m curious, I will say that when I go to the doctor, if they request that I am Wait, I have no issue stepping on the scale if they need me to. So that happened most recently, when I had my surgery, the anesthesiologist needed my weight, I’m assuming. And I was able to just look at it and be like, okay, yeah, it’s just a number. But I would never do that as a regular everyday thing. I mean, once every couple years that I’ve had to see that that’s it’s a neutral thing for me. That being said, I’ve been doing this work for a very, very long time, I think that if you still struggle with that, it’s really normal to be triggered by it. And so what I would suggest is either doing a blind way in where you turn around or potentially refusing to be weighed, if you can, which I know is often comes with a privilege, that’s not the easiest thing to do. So that’s what I wanted to say about that. So do I think that like that number will always have power over? You know, I don’t think so I don’t think the size of our pants or the number on the scale will always have power over us. But I also don’t think that that’s something that we need to be monitoring or exposing ourselves to every day. Because that can be tricky. And that leads me to a question that somebody had, they asked me, Well, I always have to watch out for triggers. And my answer is it depends. So giving the example above, I am able to see that number and being neutral about it. But if I had to see that number every day, I don’t know if I would be because it would be different every day. And I feel like that I can easily get back into that bad place. Like it is a slippery slope, right? Like I avoid it intentionally because I know my past and my history. And I know from other people and clients that they have been able to have that same sort of one off experience and be totally okay with it. But ice can still get triggered by other things. So mainly if I’m dealing with a lot of emotions in my life, I tend to find myself fixating more on my appearance. Nowadays, it seems to be aging. I find that anytime that I’m going through difficult stuff in my life, I start like thinking about getting like Botox is confessions. But I start to like notice wrinkles, and it’s so weird, but it’s exactly what I used to do with weight. So I definitely have some internalized ages that I need to unpack. But that’s how it shows up for me now. And I think it would be like a hell of a slippery slope if someone said
To me somewhere you need to track your food that I think would really potentially put me in like a not a great place, it would be hard for me to just maintain neutrality about that if I had to do it continuously. So I think that like, I don’t know if we necessarily have to, like, be super vigilant with triggers. But I think we all have triggers. And we have to just have awareness of what’s driving those things and know how to respond to ourselves. When those triggers pop up. That’s the biggest thing, like when I’m working with clients, I want to teach them how to respond when we get triggered, because we’re going to get triggered, things are going to kind of activate that old diet rain inside of us. And there’s two real reasons for that. One is our environment. You know, we live in a fat phobic culture, if you are exposing yourself to that knowingly or unknowingly, like sometimes we don’t have a choice, like maybe your work environment is just really like that, then that might be much tougher for you. And you might feel that diet brain being activated more often. The other thing too, is if we don’t have awareness around why we engage in this behavior, or why we engaged in it in the past. So if you’re not really aware of like, why you used to step on the scale compulsively or what emotions drive you to turn to those behaviors, then it’s going to be harder, right. But if you have done a lot of work around that, then you’re able to have that awareness and be able to catch it and prevent yourself from going down that rabbit hole, because that’s the most important part. But I think it would be very rare where someone is like, never like they’re just like, I never get triggered by it. I’m using the word trigger. And maybe that’s not the best sport. So I never get like activated by it. You know, that never bothers me again. But I do work with a lot of people that are able to get to a place where they go to the doctor and they step on the scale. And it’s not a big deal. The other question that always comes up around this is like, what about fit pit fit fit pits?
What about are your armpits fit, I’m really working on getting a fit pit. No fit bits. So fit bits weren’t around. Thank God when I had my disordered relationship with food and movement, so I never used one, I had to use an Excel spreadsheet, everybody. Okay, that’s my generation. But the bits weren’t around. Thank goodness, I know, they’re really popular. Now. Same with Apple watches. And these things can track things like steps or calories, heart rate sleep metrics, I don’t have one, I have no interest in having one. Because again, I think for me, it can be a bit of a slippery slope. I don’t need that information. No, thank you. So personally, I don’t encourage the use of them because of the same reasons that I gave you above. But some people enjoy data. And I do think that there’s certain individuals that can use it, without it dictating what they should do or eat or how they should feel about themselves. So if you’re one of those unicorn anomalies, then you don’t have a problem with it, then that’s fine. But I think that if you have a history of having dieting, or disordered relationship with food or movement, like, I’m super skeptical about whether you can have a good relationship with it. So that’s not to say it can’t exist. So what I’ve done is, I have three questions that you can ask yourself to gauge your relationship with it. So one is Could you could you easily stop wearing it for a week? If your answer is yes, then that’s a good sign. Do you feel worse or less accomplished? If you see certain numbers? If the answer is yes, I do feel worse than that’s a bit of a red flag. And do you use it to dictate whether you need to move more or not? And if the answer is yes, that’s also a bit of a red flag. So I think, you know, could you easily stop wearing it for a week? If the answer is no, that’s a red flag as well? Do you feel worse or less accomplished? If you see certain numbers? If you say, Yes, I do feel worse than that’s a red flag, and you use it to dictate whether you need to move more or not. If you say yes, that’s a red flag. So red flags aren’t necessarily bad. But there are things that we need to just bring awareness to because I my sort of litmus test on this would be go for a week without it, and see how you feel. And if you find yourself feeling like, oh, I don’t know, if I moved enough or like, Oh, I really missed that validation, then I think that there’s something there that maybe is worth exploring. So personally, if you’re working with me, I would like to be able to see you to not be able to wear it and have no issues like you should be able to take a rest day or say yes to doing movement because you want to and because you know your body needs it versus this device. And so again, try it as an experiment and see, and if you’re going to use when I would absolutely encourage you to turn off any calorie counting because that’s useless. Because again, we’re not robots. And unless you are healing or working with a professional who has advised you that it would be helpful for you to to see those metrics to see if you’re eating enough, then there’s really no use for us to know calories because it’s you it’s literally useless information, because it doesn’t matter. Like your body’s going to eat what it needs to eat based on your energy output. So the calorie stuff is just
useless and it changes every day based on what based on our needs. I used a heart rate monitor, post COVID to monitor my heart rate when it was elevated as a result of that. But I didn’t get obsessive with it. And now I don’t use it. And I never looked at the other metrics that might become triggering. So I don’t think these things necessarily all bad. I think that data can sometimes be helpful. But I think we need to be honest with ourselves about how we’re using them and what beliefs they’re reinforcing. And there is no way in hell I would give them to a child. Because I have seen that I’ve seen step counters for kids. I have seen like kids who were a little Fitbits, and things like that. And that is taught to me is just like that’s a hard No, no, say no to it. But yeah, that’s all I’m gonna say on that today. So the way I want to wrap this up here is six reasons why it’s important to ditch your scale or other tracking devices. One, you’re going to gain so much more mental space to you’re going to be reconnected with your body signals. Three, you will learn to trust yourself for you can learn to accept yourself unconditionally and feel so much better in your body. Five, you can live without fear or worry and have so much more peace and six, you can have a much better relationship with food and movement. And if you’re scared, that is totally normal, get support, get supported. This is what I do with people, I make that transition easier. You don’t need to do it alone. I know how hard it is. I know how addictive those things are. And you really just feel like your whole world will implode if you get rid of it. But I promise you it won’t. And I promise you there’s a way out that feels so good. For more on my own personal story check out episode 174 parts one and two because I hinted out a bit of it today. But if you haven’t heard that you can go back and listen to that episode. Thank you so much for being here and listening to this. I hope you enjoyed this episode. I’ll be back next week with another new one rock on.
I’m Summer Innanen And I want to thank you for listening today. You can follow me on Instagram and Facebook at summer Innanen. And if you haven’t yet, go to Apple podcasts search eat the rules and subscribe rate and review this show. I would be so grateful. Until next time, rock on
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