ETR 321: Dressing For Your Current Body with Dacy Gillespie

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Podcast interview on Dressing For Your Current Body with Dacy Gillespie
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In this episode of Eat the Rules, I’m joined by weight inclusive, anti-diet personal stylist, Dacy Gillespie. We’re talking about dressing for your current body, the importance of having clothes that fit and you feel good in, and how to navigate the process of finding new clothes when your body has changed, or you’re not sure what your style is, or you’ve got budgetary constraints.

        In This Episode, We Chat About

        • What got her into this work and inspired her to focus on weight inclusivity,
        • What the process can look like,
        • How buying clothes that fit can have a big impact on how you feel about your body,
        • Advice to someone who feels like they don’t know where to start in deciding what they want to wear,
        • All the conditioning that we have to work to get rid of,
        • The importance of working to follow your first impulse in finding what you like,
        • How to get rid of the idea of “flattering,”
        • How to shift body changes into an opportunity to find what you really like,
        • That photos and mirrors are not reality,
        • Advice on how to make the shopping process less overwhelming,
        • A reframe of online shopping,
        • Plus so much more!

        Listen Now (transcript below)

        Watch on YouTube

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              Transcript

              Summer:
              This is eat the rules, a podcast about body image self worth, anti dieting and intersectional feminism. I am your host. Summer innan, a professionally trained coach specializing in body image self worth and confidence, and the best selling author of body image remix, if you’re ready to break free of societal standards and stop living behind the number on your scale, then you have come to the right place. Welcome to the show.

              This is episode 321, and I’m joined by weight inclusive, anti diet personal stylist, Dacy Gillespie. We’re talking about the importance of having clothes that fit and you feel good in and how to navigate that process of finding new clothes when your body has changed, or when you’re struggling with your body, or you’re not sure what your style is, or maybe you have budgetary constraints too. We’re talking about all of those things today. You can find the resources mentioned at summer Inn and in.com forward, slash, 321,

              I want to give a shout out to tiny Christie, who left this review. I love this podcast. There is such a variety of topics that I find absolutely empowering as a woman who has always tried to encourage others. Listening to the stories and the advice from many different people makes me feel that there is hope. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. That’s what I hope to put out into the world, is hope that you don’t have to feel bad about your body for the rest of your life, and there is a way out. So thank you so much for saying that if you have the financial means to do so, you can support the show via ko fi. That’s ko dash fi. Go to KO dash fi.com, forward slash summer in and in. And you can make a monthly contribution for as little as $5 a month. You can help to keep this show going for another possible season, or at least maybe through to the summer we will see. And you will get my mini course conquering negative body talk. I hope that you can do that, and if you can’t, that’s totally fine. I understand. You can support the show by leaving a review. Go to Apple podcast, search for eat the rules, then click ratings and reviews and click to leave a review or give it a rating. And you can also subscribe to the show. That’s another way to support this podcast. I’ve got free stuff for you. Go to the body image coach.com and you can find some free stuff, the free 10 day body confidence makeover as well. If you are a provider who works with people who may also have body image struggles, get the free body image coaching roadmap at summer Inn and in.com forward slash roadmap.

              I feel like buying clothes and having a body that changes, and then having to buy clothes is one of the hardest things that my clients go through, and so I am so excited to have Daisy on the show today to talk about how to navigate that process as a weight inclusive, anti diet personal stylist, Daisy Gillespie helps her clients reject fashion rules and ideal standards of beauty imposed by the patriarchy, white supremacism and capitalism so that they can uncover their authentic style through their work building a functional wardrobe, Daisy’s clients make a mindset shift from thinking they need to wear What’s flattering to unapologetically taking up space in the world. Let’s get started with the show. Hi Daisy, welcome to the show. Thanks summer, thanks for having me. I’m excited to have you here today. I feel like clothing is such a big struggle for for people, especially when they’re, you know, whether it’s their body is changing, whether that’s because of aging or because they’re, you know, coming out of chronic dieting or an eating disorder. And I feel like it’s one of the biggest struggles that that people have. And so I’m super excited to learn more about how people can, you know, dress their changing body and adapt to it, and just some strategies around that? Yeah, absolutely. How did you get into this work? Like, what inspired you to to go into this space, and then, in particular, like, to take what I guess would you would call, like a weight inclusive approach, or an anti diet approach to it?

              Dacy:
              Yeah, well, it’s, it’s interesting, because a lot of people, I feel like a lot of people who worked in who work in this space, they kind of had a body journey that might mirror some of the people they then go on to work with and go on to help. And my situation was not that I am very lucky. I’ve always had a lot of thin privilege. Always loved clothes and fashion. I actually my previous life, I was a classical musician, but got burned out pretty badly a few times. And you know, was, was really wanting to transition to something that I could manage, just emotionally and capacity wise. And always loved fashion and yeah, so, you know, the short version is that I started this business in 2013 and. And the thing that was surprising to me was, pretty much, as soon as I began working with people, I very quickly saw that the first thing that became a hurdle was not, you know, trying to let go of clothing or trying to stop shopping. You know, some of the things that I thought were going to be the major issues. The biggest hurdle almost every single person had was their feelings around their body. And I really saw that we weren’t going to get very far with any of the rest of it if we couldn’t address that. And so I kind of set about educating myself on, you know, I discovered the concepts of intuitive eating and Health at Every Size and and, you know, read as much as I possibly could, and started trying to apply those ideas to the way that I worked with people and and trying to share those ideas, you know, with the people that I was working with. And it just, it became very clear that that was something a lot of people were wanting and needing. So that’s how I ended up here. And it’s, I mean, much more meaningful to me than, you know, if I had just kind of, I don’t know, just kind of surface, been working with people on cleaning up their closets or something.

              Summer:
              Yeah, that’s really cool. And I imagine, because I feel like, when you work with, you know, a stylist or something like that, like, they often use the word flattering, and they’re looking for styles that, you know, make the body smaller. Like, was that something that you sort of went into it doing, and then kind of, was your mind sort of changed once you learned about, you know, body liberation and stuff like that, or

              Dacy:
              Yeah, and that’s a really good question. I don’t think I’ve been asked that specifically before. I would say that, you know, growing up like most of us we were, just before we started recording, we were talking about our generation and, you know, Gen X, and kind of older millennials, we really grew up with all of these very concrete rules that were out there about what you could and couldn’t wear for your specific body type. And I will say just, you know, as a teenager, as someone in my 20s, I was very interested in those things, and just kind of constantly trying to, like, figure out what is the right thing for me. But actually, by the time I started my business, I was really seeing that a lot of that, like all expert advice, cannot be applied globally. And I really already, at that point, wanted people to prioritize what they liked over what would make them look thinner. And so I would, I didn’t have words to really define it, but I would say that was definitely, that was definitely in there. It just wasn’t a focus as much as it is now,

              Summer:
              yeah, yeah, you mentioned, like, the rules, and I feel like that now that you’ve said that, I’m like, Oh, I recognize that with with clients that I’ve worked with, where they feel like, well, because I’m this shape, I can’t wear that, or because I, you know, because I have a bigger belly, I I have to, I can’t tuck a shirt in, or something like that. And so we’ll talk more about some of those things as we go on. But I guess I kind of want to start from, like, the sort of the beginning of the process with somebody who, you know, let’s say, their body changes, or they’re just not feeling good in their, you know, in their in their current body. Why would you suggest like clothing be one of those steps that is a priority? Or would you suggest that? Like, would you recommend that?

              Dacy:
              Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think in certain cases, there may need to be a certain amount of body image work done before you get to the point of, you know, putting clothes on your body, because that can be a really, just a big challenge if you’re feeling very untethered, you know. But I would say for most people who are kind of aware that they want to work on that, that that they want to feel more comfortable in their body. I think that buying clothes that fit and that you feel physically good in and psychically good like you feel you know, like yourself in them. I honestly think that’s one of the most concrete steps you can take in feeling better about your body. I mean, if you just kind of imagine what it feels like to wear clothes that are too small, and just think about the fact that, like, your flesh is being squished, and you’re you’re constantly body checking right throughout the day, because your clothes are pulling you back in to thinking about your body. And so if you get something that fits, that doesn’t squish you, that doesn’t make you think about your body constantly, it’s gonna have a huge impact just on your day, you know, day to day,

              Summer:
              it absolutely does. Yeah, I think it can create so much emotional distress when you have tight clothes. And I’ve actually been like, in a session with a client, where I’ve been like, hey, just, can you take a minute to go put on different pants? Because, like, I just want to, like, let’s just see how this, how this feels. That’s a great idea. And it does it like, it’s amazing how much of a difference it makes. But I think it’s, it’s interesting how we’re so committed to, like, making ourselves fit into the thing that, like, used to fit us. But so would you suggest? Shouldn’t be because, like, one of the things I’ve always done with clients is like, have them, you know, get rid of clothes that don’t fit. But I’m curious to know, like, if, if that’s the sort of approach that you take, or if you’re more, like, let’s get you some clothes that fit first before you get rid of stuff that doesn’t fit. Or, like, what’s the sort of process that you encourage people to do?

              Dacy:
              That’s a great question, because it’s a little bit of of both, really. I mean, I’ll just say, before we even get to the point of physically looking at or touching clothes, we have a lot of work to do before that. And so I really start with everyone with, first of all, like, a big intake questionnaire before I ever, you know, have a first session with them. Part of that work that they have to do to prepare is creating a Pinterest board. And then when we first meet, our first session is always, you know, what I call, like a body story slash style story session. And so before we even start talking about their clothes, we want to know where they’re coming from, what messages they got growing up. You know, what the relationship they had to close in the past. And because that, honestly, people just have aha moments, you know? They’re just like, Oh, okay. The reason why I hate going in dressing rooms is my mom said this to me or the salesperson, you know what I mean? Like, you can really make a lot of connections that way. And so then when we do go into their closet, we can look at things through that lens, like we can look at the things they’re holding on to and connect it to. Oh, yeah, I, you know, have scarcity around clothing, because I was never able to find clothing in my size, and so I have a hard time letting go of this, because I’m afraid I won’t find anything that fits again, you know, as just one example. And so what we’ll do is, you know, if they really have nothing else to wear, you have to hold on to clothes. You know, you have to have something to wear. But we go into it with the with the knowledge that we’re going to be looking for things that that fit you emotionally and physically better, and that we will be getting rid of those things once those come in. But sometimes, you know, sometimes you do have to hold on to stuff until you get a replacement. Having said that, there are plenty of people who have enough to let go of plenty and still have a lot to wear. And of course, the stuff that’s hanging in your closet that doesn’t fit is not getting worn, so it’s not really doing you any good.

              Summer:
              It’s really interesting to hear you talk about this, because it’s like, oh, there’s so there’s such a huge emotional and psychological component to this, in terms of our relationship with clothes, like, it’s like, it’s thinking about, okay, what are the stories that you’ve been told? What are your beliefs about clothes like, and I guess on the surface, when you think about working with, you know, somebody like yourself, it’s like, you don’t think that that that that would be, at least for me, like I would think part of the process is more like, kind of more about, like, colors and stories and sorry and styles and things, versus like doing some of that, maybe that like inner exploration to change your relationship with it.

              Dacy:
              Yeah. I mean, I think, I think that’s a common, you know, belief, and I think that’s the way a lot of personal stylists work, I almost wish I had a different term to talk about what I do, because I do feel like it’s a pretty different situation than maybe the typical person, and you know, so it’d be nice to have some way to differentiate, but that’s fine, but yeah, I think that is what happens a lot of times. But my big belief, which goes along with a lot of the beliefs of intuitive eating, is that an outside person cannot tell you what to do. I don’t even think an outside person can tell you what colors you should wear, you know, let alone what styles you should wear. Because I think that that knowledge has to come from within you, just like you know, a diet is telling you what to eat, and you have to, you know, look inside yourself to figure out what it is that’s going to make you feel best. So that’s part of why, yeah, I take a different approach,

              Summer:
              yeah, and so that I feel like that can be so daunting for people to definitely to know like, what they want, or what’s best, like it. You know, for some people, it might be, like, Where do I even start? I think especially if their body has completely changed. And, you know, I think that’s some of the feedback that I hear from clients. If they’re, you know, the shape of their body has really changed. Like, they have a belly that they didn’t have before, or, or they were in straight sized clothes, and now they’re in plus size clothes. And so there’s a, you know, there’s a lot of like, I don’t even, I don’t even know. So I guess my question is, like, what’s your advice to someone who’s feeling like they don’t even know what they like or what style they would want? Perhaps because, like, their body’s changed so much and then equal parts, perhaps because they’ve been like, so brainwashed by the standards of, you know, what they’ve been told they should like and where,

              Dacy:
              yeah, I mean, there’s two things in there that I want to kind of touch on. One is the idea which you’re absolutely right. Like, you know, not to call you out, but it sounds like it’s kind of ingrained in you that, like, that we all believe that, like, if your body is a certain shape, there is a certain thing that. Should wear?

              Summer:
              Yeah, yeah, exactly right.

              Dacy:
              And that’s not true in my mind. You know, the way that I like to approach it is like, let’s figure out your needs and your preferences and your esthetic style, and then let’s figure out how to make that just physically fit your body, not like it has to be flattering, but like, you know, let’s just, let’s figure out what colors you love and what prints you love, and whether you like wearing dresses or pants, and then at any size, for the most part, we can go out and find those things to fit your body. It’s not that we have to start with, well, what’s gonna what’s gonna fit my body? We we figured that out down the road. Does that make sense?

              Summer:
              Yeah, I think so. Yeah. It’s like, it’s more about like, kind of letting go of any of this sort of conditioning. But I think it’s just that’s so hard for people, right? Because it’s, like, feels so risky.

              And I think, do you notice then that people have, you know, a lot of kind of stuff that comes up when they even consider wearing a style that they’ve sort of been, they sort of have internalized that they should never wear that, or that would look so bad, you know?

              Dacy:
              Yeah, absolutely. In fact, that’s one of the things that I have to tell people when they are creating a Pinterest board. It’s truly impossible, but I always say, try to listen to that first instinct when you look at a message like, do you have some little spark of recognition? Are you like, ooh, that’s cool, or that’s cute, and can you ignore the voice that always comes in over the top and says, but you could never wear that? That wouldn’t look good at you? Can we just go with that first impulse, because that is your preference, that’s what you like. And the messages that come in over the top of that are what you’ve been told, right? And it’s like I said, it’s impossible to do but, but that’s what we aim for. And you know, you had asked, like, you know, where to start. And I think that exercise is a great way to start, you know, kind of start seeking out, and not even just in clothing or images of clothing. But again, there’s just so many parallels between our work, but to really start to pay attention to your own preferences in life, like, in anything, you know, like, this is a crazy example that just came into my head. But like, you know, sometimes I’ll go into the I’ll get into my car, and maybe my husband’s driven it or something, and it’s like, I drive for like, 30 minutes without realizing, like, oh, I need to adjust the seat. Like, you know, my legs are too far away, or whatever it might be. There’s so many things, and then clothing can be that one area that you just, if it’s not something you’ve thought about a lot, it can, you can feel really lost, and it’s, it’s just really interesting, because I had a client right before we got on this call, who is very confident in her work. She’s very confident in her personal life. She’s secure in who she is, except for with what she wears. She’s like, I don’t know what looks good. I don’t know what I like. This particular client moved from India to the US when she was 25 and wore traditional Indian clothing before that point. She’s also plus size, so her ability to learn this stuff, to have experimented with it, is almost zero. You know, she just didn’t have the opportunity to kind of try things out and decide what she liked or not. And so it’s almost like we’re starting just at the very, very, very beginning for her. And so we have to kind of just be constantly checking in. We were on a call, and we were trying on clothes that she has in her closet, and we were just checking in about, like, you know, how does this feel? Do you like this color? You know? What do you think about the way this fits? You know, it’s just a, it’s a long, it’s a long process,

              Summer:
              yeah, totally. And it’s so hard to get rid of the rules and the shoulds around. Like, I just think about messages that you know, that I was given around, this is what you should wear, or, and just hearing from clients that like, Well, I was always told this, or my mother always said this. And it’s like, it’s so hard to to break free of that, I think because we’ve learned to sort of look at ourselves through the the gaze of, you know, the male gaze, right? And so for somebody whose body has like, their shape has changed, and they’re sort of feeling like these styles don’t look good on me, which I think is kind of sometimes code for, like, flattering maybe, like, how do you sort of encourage people to let go of maybe that idea of, like, flattering,

              Dacy:
              yeah. I mean, it’s tough. And I will say, when your body changes, and I’m sure you talk about this with clients all the time, it’s very uncomfortable, and it really is hard to look in the mirror and see something that you’re not used to seeing. And I’ve been there. I mean, I’m 47 My body’s changed a lot over the course of my life, menopause, pandemics, babies and and your body can change without any of those things happening. And it is very disconcerting. I will say that it can be a bit of an opportunity, since you’re almost starting over a bit, maybe this is an opportunity to go back and start from the beginning about asking yourself, what. You like and what you want to wear, you know, maybe this is a chance to kind of, well, I don’t have that body anymore. Let me just throw out all the rules I was taught and start to think about what I might want to wear on this body. And then from there, it has to go into trying it and seeing how it feels. And I do think that people, you know, one, one tactical thing people can do is, is really try things on and check in with themselves before they look in the mirror. Because what we do is we look in the mirror first, and we’re looking in the mirror through eyes that have so much, you know, I don’t know they’re dirty lenses, you know, from all the messages we’ve gotten. And so if you can try and first remind yourself what your priority is, like, is my priority to look thin? Is my priority to feel like I look artistic, is my priority to feel the most comfortable I possibly can. So if you can put those clothes on, check for that, like, is this priority being met? Then when you look in the mirror, you can try to pull yourself back a little bit from the edge by saying, Okay, I might not like how this looks particularly, but it’s meeting one of my other priorities. And it’s not going to solve everything, but it might start to shift your mindset.

              Summer:
              Yeah, I love the suggestion of of sort of feeling first, like, I encourage the same thing with like, before you, because a lot of people mirror check and I’m like, before you look in the mirror. Like, just ask yourself, like, how am I actually feeling? Like, what’s what’s here? Because the mirror immediately can, like, send this, this, you know, alternate message into us and completely changed the way we feel when it was like, well, you felt okay before you were faced with that, with that mirror. And I think that’s probably what’s so challenging about the work that you do, is like, you’re you’re working with the mirror and the style, and it’s like, that mirror part is probably so challenging for people, like when I work with people, we do mirror work, and it takes a while for them to really feel comfortable seeing themselves in the mirror. And so I imagine that that’s, like, that’s a challenging part of of the work you do, because that’s layered on top of the, you know, also trying on new styles and new colors and things like that.

              Dacy:
              Yeah, it definitely is. And, you know, I always say, like, photos and mirrors are not reality. And, you know, there’s lots, lots to talk about there, but those are the two kind of hardest things I think, you know, just I guess that pull people back into maybe a negative feeling, especially when what they see like I said, they don’t recognize. I really think that, I mean, the mirror is harder. Honestly, what I recommend a lot of times is that people either take selfies or have someone take photos of the outfit without their head in it. Oh, interesting. And what that can do is that can just give you a little more distance from the emotional baggage of looking at yourself. And sometimes I am even like, let’s imagine, you know, because I it is so hard, like I will have people put something on that, you know, theoretically, they would like because of all the work we’ve done. And then they look in the mirror and they’re like, I just, I just don’t know. And so then I might ask, you know, if you saw a girl walking down the street in this outfit, would you think she looked cool? And often it’s like, yeah, I would. But it’s my feelings about myself that’s making me think it doesn’t look good.

              Summer:
              Yeah, absolutely. I feel like that’s such an important point like that, that message there that it’s like, it’s the feelings about yourself, it’s not, it’s not the the outfit, and it’s, it’s hard to, yeah, it’s hard to kind of like, detach those, those things. And so, you know, because I know, like, doing that body image work is, is really, really hard. So I guess you know something that I’m curious about, because I feel like the, you know, a lot of the people I work with feel very overwhelmed about the idea of buying new for of buying new clothes, like just an idea of going shopping, they don’t know where to go, where to start. You know how to do it? Like it just feels so overwhelming, and so often it gets put off. Do you have any advice, like, where someone should just sort of start with that like, or what they could do to make that process a little bit less overwhelming?

              Dacy:
              I mean, often there will be situations where people just need clothes immediately, right? And in those cases, you know, go to Old Navy, go to target, go online to one of those sites, since Old Navy took their plus size options out of their shores, and, you know, get five things that can tide you over until you have some time to think about this a little bit, because I think part of what’s overwhelming is the idea of just launching into shopping without having a plan. And so I think the plan is really, really important. And the plan actually starts with figuring out a little bit about your style, right? Like, you don’t have to have it completely set in stone. You don’t have to have some perfect, poetic description. But, you know, ask yourself a few things about what you like, about clothing. Again, it could be as simple as, like, do I like wearing dress? This, do I like wearing pants? What kind of fabrics do I like? How do I want things to fit close to the body, or looser? You know, just, just some really basic things. And then you need to take a little bit of inventory and see, like, Okay, what do I really need? Like, what is the highest priority here? If it is, if you’re going to an office and you need clothes for the office, then maybe the highest priority is, like, two pairs of pants I can wear the office and four blouses, or something like that. If you can be specific like that, it cuts down a lot of the overwhelm, right? Because if you just say, I need to go, I need to go buy new clothes, it’s like your brain can’t process that. It’s too much, it’s too much information. But if you say, Okay, I need four blouses and two pairs of pants. Again, you have a target. You have something to work towards. And I would go even further and say, Okay, you want four blouses. Like, what’s the fabric of those blouses? Is it going to be a solid color? Is it going to be a printer pattern? What is the sleeve length? What’s the neckline? Because every detail you can narrow down gets you closer and eliminates more of the other options you don’t want, right? So we want to filter, like, think of, it’s like, you know, a filter on Nordstrom website, or something like, the more things you can put in, the more you’re going to rule out, meaning you only have a few things to decide amongst. So, you know, really a process of elimination, I guess is, is part of it? Yeah, I think that’s, you know, really getting, you know, well, sorry, the thing that I was kind of spacing on for a second is like, and then where do you do that? And I, you know, I’ll just say, I think it’s easier these days to do online, you know. I mean, stores, a lot of people have big hang ups about, like, Oh, I just want to go into a store and try things on. Well, first of all, of course, that’s not possible for everyone in every size range. And second of all, let’s just reframe the online ordering as bringing the dressing room to you, right? Like it doesn’t mean that you’re gonna buy everything that you ordered. Like you’re really you’re trying things on, and you have to go into it kind of knowing, like sizing out there is crazy. Half the things I get are not going to fit my body. Just go into it knowing you’re going to return things, but then you have the opportunity to do it in a comfortable space, in a relaxing space without an annoying salesperson knocking on your door. You can have water, you can have a fan going, because you get really hot when you’re trying on clothes. And is a draining process. And the more comfortable you can make yourself better.

              Summer:
              I love that too, because I feel like, change your mirrors can be, like, pretty traumatic for people, depending on the store and and having a bit more control over that. Like, you can use like, Okay, I’m just gonna look at like this part instead of having this, like, 365 degree mirror or 360 not 365 that’s the number of days in a year. That’s such a good idea. But honestly, like, the way you broke it down there. I know that might seem really obvious to you, but I feel like that’s so helpful. Like, even for me, I’m like, Oh yeah, okay. Like, what do you need? What, specifically, what fabrics like. I’m like, that is so helpful. So thank you for sharing that. So I guess, like, the other piece of it that I wanted to ask is just like, okay, budget, right? Because it’s like people might be listening to this being like, that sounds awesome. I cannot afford to do that, especially with like, you know, the economic landscape that we’re in that’s gonna only progressively get worse. So what are, you know, what are your sort of, I know, you’re a big Thrifter, which, like, I’ve just sort of started to get more into. So what are your suggestions for, like, budget, you know, how to, how to do this in a more budget conscious way?

              Dacy:
              Yeah, I mean, I think there’s, honestly, I think there’s, we’re still talking about two levels here that we need to kind of put a distinction between. One is you feel like you can’t spend money, but actually maybe you could just cut out, take out two nights a month, and you’ll have a couple $100 you can put towards close. And then there’s the level of you truly have no money, right? And if you’re at that level, there are still a few things you can do, but it’s always going to be, you’re still going to have a lot more of a hard time if your body is not straight sized, you know. So we just have to acknowledge that. But one thing you can try is, I don’t know if you guys have these in Canada, but we have Buy Nothing groups that are, unfortunately on Facebook, but, you know, those are groups in your local community. They’re hyper local. And you can truly go on there and say, Hey, I need clothes in size x, whatever. And people are happy. People want to get rid of their clothes. They are happy to say, Oh, I have a garbage bag full I can bring you. You could set up a clothing swap with friends. You could borrow things, you know, if that’s something, if you just need, you know, something for a party or something. And again, this is all so much harder if, if your body has a fewer, fewer size options, yeah, and then I’d say the next level is secondhand. Again, the same constraints, right? There’s not as many plus size clothes in thrift stores. Yeah, it’s encouraging, because a lot of towns are starting to have plus sized, specific secondhand stores. Oh, cool, yeah. And so, I mean, there have been for, for a long time. There have been those in LA and Brooklyn and Seattle, but, you know, I’m in St Louis, and we have one now. And so those are great. Check around for that. But also, you know, you know, it’s interesting, because we know there are people existing of all shapes and sizes, and we know that some of them have to donate their clothes, and so they have to end up somewhere.

              Summer:
              Yeah, Yeah, isn’t it? Like, it’s a large percentage of people who are plus size, right? So it’s like, where those clothes must be somewhere,

              Dacy:
              yeah. I mean, I think because there is a scarcity of clothes for people in that size, that people probably wear their clothes more, and perhaps even wear them out. So there are fewer options, and thrift stores for sizes above, you know, Excel, but they are there. And then, you know, you can also try online secondhand with thredUP or Poshmark. And those, you know, have their own complications, but, but there are ways. And then the other thing I will say again, if you, if you have any way to kind of move your money around a little bit, I mean, you really, really need to have close to fit, like, whatever way you can do that. Like, listen, maybe, maybe your kids have everything they need, but maybe they could go without, like a new sweatshirt for the month, and you can get yourself something. And the other thing I always want people to remember is, you don’t need a lot, right? You really don’t, but you do need some things that fit. And so, you know, I actually started my business based on kind of minimalism, and I do still really believe that, you know, you can get by with 10 articles of clothing. You can do pretty well. And so when people think of this, I think they’re overwhelmed by the thought of, like, I’ve got to buy a whole new wardrobe. But then, like I said earlier, like, really think about what it is that you need, you know, like, you know, maybe it’s the two work pants, the four blouses, a pair of jeans and some T shirts for the weekend. Again, once you can make it something concrete, it’s a lot more manageable. Yeah, that’s awesome.

              Summer:
              That’s super helpful. So if somebody wanted to work with you, what are the different ways that people can work with you?

              Dacy:
              Sure, well, I mean, I’ll start with the free stuff. I give a lot of advice and put a lot of content out there on Instagram. I also have a sub stack newsletter, and I asked I if you sign up for my substack newsletter, I have a bunch of free resources in your in your, like, subscription confirmation email. So I have, like, a guide to creating your own capsule wardrobe. And I can’t even remember the things that are in there, but I have, you know, a lot of, like, worksheets and things that people can do. Oh, cool. That’s great. Yeah. The next level up is I have online, like, low cost online workshops. So you can take my uncover your authentic style workshop, I think that’s like $67 you know, and there’s a stress free shopping workshop, you know, which are all about that price. Then I do group programs. And so those I do on a sliding scale. And so those are eight week programs, where, in a really supportive group of women. We kind of work through all these issues that we’ve just talked about, and then, you know, if you have the means to, you know, it’s probably going to give you the most impact to work with me one on one, and in that case, we work together for a couple of months. We go through all these things that we’ve just mentioned. I shop for you. So I take that piece off your plate, and then I will help you with a try on session. We’ll do a remote try on session where I am the grounding voice to keep you, you know, kind of from floating off into the negativity. And then we really make a plan for kind of how to go forward.

              Summer:
              Oh, that’s awesome. I love that. That’s so cool. That’s great. And so, where can people find more of you?

              Dacy:
              Yeah, well, mindful closet.com is my website. That’s also my handle on Instagram. And then my sub stack is Dacy gillespie.substack.com and my sub stack is called unflattering.

              Summer:
              Oh, great. I love it.

              Thank you so much for being here, Dacy. It was awesome. I took away so much, and I know everybody else will too.

              Dacy:
              No. Thank you so much for having me. It was fun.

              Summer:
              Rock on.

              I feel like I took away so many useful tidbits of information there. I find shopping to be really overwhelming, so I found that episode to be really, really helpful. I hope that you found it to be helpful for you too. You can find all the links mentioned, including the links to Daisy sub stack and her programs and Instagram and all that at summer inn, inn.com, forward, slash, 321, and you can also find a link to my ko fi account, which you can just get when you click on the episode info.

              So if you’re listening to this on Spotify, just click episode info, and then that link is always there too, if you have the means to financially contribute to the show. And I just want to say thank you so much for listening today. Rock on. I’m Summer innan, and I want to thank you for listening today. You can follow me on Instagram and Facebook at summer innan, and if you haven’t yet, go to Apple podcasts, search, eat the rules and subscribe, rate and review this show. I would be so grateful until next time.

              Rock on you.

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