These are two of my clients who worked with me during the You, On Fire program and they are here to show you that it is possible to go from obsessing over food and hating your body, to no longer fretting about your reflection and having so much more confidence in who you are outside of how you look.

You, On Fire is the online group coaching program that gives you a step-by-step way of building up self-worth beyond your jean size with personalized coaching from me and lifetime access to the program—so you can break out of the diet culture cage, get free from body shame and live your fiery, free, untamed life.

Go here to get all the details and get on the waitlist for the upcoming cycle>>

After Starlett had her daughter, she had gained a lot of weight and was having trouble accepting the changes. It was a new body and she says it felt like, “she was dropped into a foreign country where she didn’t know how to speak the language.”

She says she was constantly told she needed to look a certain way and she felt like if she accepted this body, she would be rejected by society. She felt like if she accepted her body, she’d be opening herself up to ridicule.

She didn’t want to continue the way she was going and she realized that she felt just as bad about her body when it was smaller. She asked herself, “do I want to stay on this cycle or do I want a real change?”

In You, On Fire, Starlett came to the realization that she is worthy and valuable just as she is – without any external validation. She respected that this was a journey and is still using the tools to be more compassionate and accepting of her whole self.

One breakthrough moment was when she looked in the mirror and, “I looked at myself and said I’m worthy and valuable just as I am. The best part is that I believed it. I can feel the change inside of me and I genuinely believe it…It feels amazing”

She also says, “You can live your life and have the life that you want right now. You don’t have to wait to be a certain size or look a certain way or be accepted by certain people.”

Lastly she says, “I’m worthy of the same grace I give my daughter. Yes my body has changed, but my worth and value haven’t. I just needed to see that. Now, I can see me for me without all these other things that used to define me.”

April says she started hating her body when she was 8 years old when traumatizing events led her to have a “punishing relationship with her body.”

She had been in therapy for years, but had never addressed her relationship with food and exercise. She was in a “constant battle with her body” and was afraid of what would happen if she stopped her restrictive ways.

She felt like her body was wearing out from all the over-exercising she was doing and knew she couldn’t continue.

One day, she had a realization when she was talking to a friend and said, “if I just liked myself, all of this could stop.”

Since doing YOF, she’s learned to trust herself and her body. She says she’s been “feeling really neutral in my body and that’s amazing.”

She also says she has “a neutral relationship with movement now.” She doesn’t freak out if she misses days of movement and she chooses movement that feels good for her body.

One particular highlight was when she wore a bathing suit (for the first time since her body changed) on a family boating trip and she wasn’t concerned with how she looked, rather she was in the moment.

Standing in front of the mirror, she’s had moments where she thinks, “this is me and I might even think she’s beautiful.”

Lastly, she says, “Most of the time I’m not thinking about it, which is a relief. There are moments where I even feel good and accepting. There are hard days too, but I have mantras that will get me through and I know they will pass. I’m in a much more comfortable place than I was a year ago.”

Summer:
This episode of eat the rules is brought to you by you on fire you on fire is the online group coaching program that I run that gives you a step by step way of building up your self worth beyond your appearance. With personalized coaching from me incredible community support and lifetime access to the program so that you can get free from body shame and live life on your own terms. Get details on what’s included and sign up for the next cycle at summer innanen.com forward slash you on fire. I’d love to have you in that group.

This is eat the rules, a podcast about body image self worth, anti dieting, and intersectional feminism. I am your host summer Innanen. a professionally trained coach specializing in body image self worth and confidence and the best selling author of body image remix. If you’re ready to break free of societal standards and stop living behind the number on your scale, then you have come to the right place. Welcome to the show.

This is episode 246. And it’s the first of two episodes where I will be sharing stories of two of the incredible women who I’ve had the utmost pleasure of working with during the past few months. During my You ON FIRE program. I love sharing these stories and I know that they’re gonna resonate with you. You can find all the links and resources mentioned in this episode at summer innanen.com forward slash 246. First I want to give a shout out to liberals bits liberals and bits who left this review. I started from episode one last week and can’t stop listening. I’m thinking about going into health coaching. And she interviews so many people with so many points of view I learned something new with each episode and feel super inspired. I also like how real she is. That’s always nice. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that review. You can leave a review for the show by going to iTunes, search for eat the rules and click ratings or reviews and click to leave a review or give it a rating. Or if you’re in the app, I think you’d have to like scroll down to the bottom. And then you can leave a review there. It only takes two minutes. You can also subscribe to the show via whatever platform you used to listen to your podcasts. And don’t forget to grab the free 10 Day body confidence makeover at summer innanen.com forward slash freebies with 10 steps to take right now to feel better in your body. And if you’re a professional, I have a body image coaching roadmap for professionals. It gives you an idea of how I work with clients and some things to avoid and do when you’re working with clients. You can find that at summer innanen.com forward slash roadmap. Today I am sharing the story of Starlett. Starlett I worked with over these past few months and it’s been such a pleasure. She was in my group program you on fire. For those of you that don’t know I’m sure you do know a little bit I talked about at the beginning of every episode but you on fire is the online group coaching program that I run that gives you a step by step way of building up your self worth beyond your gene size. It has personalized coaching from me to get a lot of attention for me incredible community sport, as well as lifetime access to all the incredible resources and materials in the program. It’s really designed to help you get free from body shame. Really get to know who you are beyond your appearance and live life on your own terms. You can get details on that at summer innanen.com forward slash you on fire. I’ll talk a little bit more about the program at the end of this episode. But I wanted to jump right into my interview with starlet I know that you’re gonna love it. Let’s get started.

Hello, starlet thank you so much for being here today. Hello. So let’s get into this. Can you tell everybody just a little bit about who you are?

Starlett:
Yes. So I am My name is Starlett. Hello, everyone. I currently live in the Bay Area in California. I am a program manager at an energy company.

Summer:
And yeah, great. Are you comfortable saying that you’re also a parent?

Starlett:
Oh, yes. And I’m also a parent of a 21 month old baby girl. My My little angel.

Summer”
Yes, I knew and I felt like yeah, first time parent at that which Oof.

So you want to just telling everyone a little bit about what your frustrations were with your body or the way you felt about your body before we started working together?

Starlett:
Yes. So after I had my daughter I experienced a lot of things postpartum. I struggled a lot and I gained a lot of weight with her. And so my body literally transformed overnight. And so I just had a lot of struggles with just accepting, it’s like how it looked all the changes, just navigating this new body. One of the metaphors I used, it just felt like I was, you know, dropped in a foreign country, it didn’t speak the language. And I’m trying to learn the language. And I don’t know how to learn, I didn’t know what resources to go to. Because they’re there. There’s not a lot of material out there that teaches you the language when your body shifts from, you know, one way to another. And, you know, the world is constantly throwing at you snap back, snap back, snap back, when when that doesn’t happen. You’re kind of like, Okay, what else am I supposed to do?

So, that’s where I was struggling to even just navigate and understand what to even how to even navigate my new my new body. Yeah. And did you have any, like fears or hesitations about like, like accepting the body? Like, were you kind of pulled back into dieting or anything like that? Like, Oh, absolutely. Because you’re constantly it me for myself, I was constantly told, you need to look a certain way. When I was younger, I was constantly, you know, you know, oh, when you have a baby, you can lose the weight. That’s what society tells you. So I struggled a lot. And I thought that one of the biggest things I remember in one of my calls with you summer is that I thought, if I accepted this body, that I would ultimately be accepted being rejected by society, because these bodies aren’t normally accepted. They constantly, you know, reject these bodies. And they, you know, and so I would have to be, I’ll be opening up myself to ridicule and all of these things. And I was like, I don’t want to feel bad about myself. I want to be, you know, told to feel bad about myself, because I look a certain way. So that was one of the biggest things I struggled with was if I accept this, then I’m accepting rejection.

Summer:
Yeah. Wow. That’s such a big point. And I think that so many people can relate to that as well. It’s very valid. And so why ultimately, what what helps you decide to make a change like to to engage with the program to like, say, like, Okay, I want to get some support working through this. Was there anything like poignant that I have? I know, obviously, the birth of your daughter, but anything that sort of stood out to you that made you want to work towards acceptance?

Starlett:
Yeah, I didn’t. I have to live in it. So I didn’t, I didn’t want to continue the way that I was going. And I And also, I had to be completely honest with myself. And one of the biggest honesty moments I had with myself as I realized, I felt the same way about my body. Even before I had my baby. Meanie. It wasn’t the size or the look, it was something more going on inside of myself. And that, yes, I can try this, this next fad diet that I don’t want to do. Yes, I can, you know, exercise, I’m healthy. But even when I was that size, I felt the exact same way. So do I want to keep you know, keep on the cycle? Or do I actually want to really, really change and be different, regardless of how I look. So that was like, the biggest thing for me because, and I and I knew I couldn’t do it my way, I had to let go of my way of trying to do things and how I saw things. Because that wasn’t serving me either. But I knew I needed help. And I’m one of those people, when I need help I get online, I start searching for different things. That’s different to what I’m looking for. Even if it’s like a 10 word paragraph that pops in my head, I’ll type the whole paragraph into a search engine to see what comes up. So when I typed in, like body image help and all the things then that’s when you came up, and I’m like, Okay, let me see what this is. And I’m like, Okay, well, she has a book. So let me read the book. And then I put myself on a waiting list because I was like I need I’m one of those people where I love to learn. And I can acknowledge when I know when I don’t know how to do something. She knows she sounds like she knows what she’s doing. So let me get some help. Because I knew I couldn’t keep going the way I was going, regardless if I lost the weight or not. Yeah. And I had this little girl and I did not want her in that same toxic pattern that I had been my whole life that I saw my mother and all the people around me in.

Summer:
Yeah. See as you wanted to break that generational cycle. I think that is it’s such a good it. That’s such a helpful motivator, I think because you’re doing it for something bigger than yourself. And I know that, you know, when other people have that sort of motivation, it definitely helps in the process.

Starlett:
Yes, absolutely. Because, I mean, I just I couldn’t keep going that way. I just couldn’t I just thought of another flight. I call them you know, the good thing, quick schemes. I couldn’t do it. I just could not do it again. I just didn’t want to.

Summer:
So yeah, yeah, absolutely. Well, I commend you for that choice. I’m so glad for your Google search. That’s how you found me. That’s great. Yes. So what works

Some of the like, you know, the key stepping stones or like elements of the program that helps you along the way.

Starlett:
One of the things just really listening to you in the coaching calls. In the early coaching calls, I remember you said, You are worthy, just as you are right now, in this moment, that was big, because I think a lot of not a lot of times I know, the whole my whole life, I attached my worth to my success, my intelligence, my parents, to things that are fleeting. And when you said that, and it’s interesting, because I think I was so open to change that it hit different because you know, yes, those are things that people have said to me before. But when you said that, it just hit different because I was at the bottom bottom of tired of being in the cycle of being the way that I was. And so when you said that, I’m like, she’s right, like, you’re worthy right now, in this moment, like, it doesn’t matter. And I started building off of that, and it’s not an overnight type of thing. I also, I allowed myself to have my temper tantrums. And this is what I say, when I had a huge meltdown. You know, one day, and I remember having this, this huge, just just just frustrated. And after that I just this right after the meltdown, I just got this huge, you know, aha, epiphany moment that I really needed to start understanding my value and my worth period, outside of how I look, or how much money I made, or what job I have, like all of these external forces, but I needed to start digging into that internally. Because our worth is always there, what happens is, you have your saboteur, or your inner critic, shady boots is what I’ve named mine that’s drowning out the voice. And then you have all of these societal things, and, and images that are constantly varying on top of it. So you even forget, or don’t even recognize what it looks like, because they’re trying to define your worth for you.

Summer:
Yeah, beautiful. I love how you said that. And just how it landed in that particular moment for you to just about, you know, you’re worthy just as you are like, without having to prove yourself.

Starlett:
And I think that that’s like, it’s that’s a tough thing to internalize. But it’s continuous. That’s one of the other things that helped me a lot was, I’m such a, I do a B in my result equals C, and we’re done. And we’re happy. And we’re, you know, I’m always thinking of it as a race in a marathon. But it’s really a continuous journey until I’m no longer on this earth. So accepting that, really accepting that and embracing that, then you can move with the ebbs and flows of this process. And understanding that you don’t have to get to an end point, you just keep going. One minute, you may feel like you’re on the mountaintop, the next minute, you may feel just awful, but you give yourself permission to have those moments. And with these tools that I got, I’d known how to come out of those moments. And I recently said on a call, like when I was going down the rabbit, the rabbit hole with the skis, you just don’t go down so deep, instead of going 20 feet down. And maybe I’ll go only 10 feet because I’m able to start counteracting that nosedive and putting the brakes on it with the tools that I’ve learned in this program. Mm hmm.

Summer:
Love it. Love it. And so what are what were some of the like, highlight moments for you like anything that you’ve sort of done or experience that you’re you would like to share? Celebrate.

Starlett:
I think the biggest one for me, and this is a big deal for me is when I look in the mirror, I did not have the same mental verbal response to my body, I would look in the mirror at my body. And I would just look at it and say to myself, you’re worthy just right now, and I do it continuously. But this is the best part, I believe it. See before you can say affirmations, but they don’t do much if you don’t believe them. I really when the shift happened, and I said, but I really believe that. Like, you can just feel a change inside of you. Because I can really believe what I’m telling myself like, I genuinely believe that now well before, when I first started, I was a mess. I could not believe any of that because of what is constantly being fed to me. So I didn’t believe that. Like you have to look a certain way or be or so right. So I didn’t believe Oh, I’m just worthy. Just no, that’s not true. That’s what people say, you know, that’s what I’m telling myself or listening to the inner critic. But when I really had that moment, I was like, wow, I believe that. Then when that voice started becoming louder than the inner critics voice, it was huge for me because then I realized I was like You can live your life and have the life that you want right now you don’t have to wait to be a certain size. You don’t have to wait to look a certain way. You don’t have to wait to be accepted by other people because that’s another big one that came to me where I was tying my worth to acceptance. And I had rejection issues. So I had to deal with that because I’m like, No, your worth shouldn’t be tied to any of those things and you’re valuable, but really, really knowing that and believing that and you know, because we all know what’s true and what’s not to ourselves. And at that moment when that became really true for me. That was huge.

Summer:
Wow, I got like goosebumps hearing you talk about that. That moment. Did that feel how did that feel?

Starlett:
In that moment, it felt amazing. Because I was able, I had like benchmarks where I was able to reflect back where the response was different, where I’m in the mirror, just crying, like, look at my body. Look what happened to me. And it wasn’t my body, it was more so the, the fact that I felt my, like what I had that made me worthy was gone. But I was misled, that that’s what the world wants me to believe. Because they capitalize on that belief. That’s not true. My word is just and I tell myself this all throughout the day, you are worthy right now like yesterday, I was sitting on the balcony, I was like, You are worthy right now, with these sparkly cat headphones on that your daughter put on your head. The tree you know, in these in these, you know sweats and sweatshirt, no makeup on, you are still worthy, and you are still valuable. And I do that constantly. Because and I believe it to be true when I do that someone shady boots tries to show up because you know, she I can’t you know, I try to send her package she always wants to come back, then I can counter that much faster. And and not, you know, go completely all the way down. Even if I go down a little bit like no, you’re fine just in this moment. And I do it when nothing’s happening. So it doesn’t have to be like I got the job or something happened to make me be in a good mood. You just I do it just because Yeah.

Summer:
Beautiful. I love that. It’s unconditional. That’s yeah. Amazing. Amazing. And then I know one of the other experiences you had recently that was also quite was quite good for you was shopping like you had a very positive shopping experience. If you don’t mind me bringing that up?

Starlett:
No, no, not at all. I went shopping for the first time. And I was like trying on stuff. And I was like, Okay, this is cute. And I was sending them to my 23 year old niece. And she was like, she’s into fashion. I feel like I’m so out of style. I’m working on it, I’m getting better. And I was like, Oh, that’s cute. And it just made me feel good to like, because you would say like buy clothes that fit that you’re comfortable with that look good that you feel good in. And it doesn’t have to be anyone else’s standard or what anyone else thinks feels looks good, because I’m still trying to develop like what my fashion is now what that looks like for me. And it felt really good. And I bought a bunch of clothes because I had to go back into the office. And even that was helpful because I was I had to get dressed, you know, because I wasn’t working from home anymore. But I didn’t realize how such a positive impact that would have. And even going back to the office made me see like my co workers cared for me unconditionally. They didn’t care that I had gained all this weight. They were making comments. They were still coming. It was like a nonstop train coming to my desk. When they heard that I was back in the office. They were so happy to see me. They responded to me the exact same. And so all of these narratives I had created in my mind, well, let me rephrase all those narratives that shady boots had created in my mind. They weren’t true. Because these people just embraced me because they knew they know me now for years. Yeah, amazing. I love that story so much. And so what does it feel like now to be in this place like to have come this far to have this baggage on your shoulders, it feels relieving, it’s still like, I’m not going to sit up here and say this is 100% Fix and I’ve made it to the because that’s not it. But the thing is, it’s not about making it to the end it’s about accepting that there is no end. And it’s about accepting and embracing your emotions and feeling those emotions and not fighting back or not feeling bad. Like when I see my my baby have a temper tantrum. I’m like I feel you I’m probably going to have one later on maybe we’ll see that energy you know, I understand it now because we are so conditioned to think we’re supposed to behave a certain way when we get a certain age. But for me what that has looked like is me internalizing and not expressing my emotion because I’m quote unquote too old to act like that. When that’s not true. I can have the ugly cried and get that unexpressed that emotion, I can yell and scream and maybe roll around on the floor next to her if I’m upset to that looks like but get it out and not keeping it in and then you get a moment of this as I call it like this. It’s like this moment after that where you get some like clarity like okay, relief, you feel better. And then you’re starting to think about things and not just trying to fight against myself to not feel what I’m feeling. So it feels like I say that to say that the the baggage of trying to hold all that in or trying to be a certain way. It feels relieving because now I have tools to address that and navigate that I don’t have to run and hide from those feelings or emotions or those things that I may not like or dislike I can just be like this is This thing, that’s okay, how do you feel I’m disappointed, man. So feel those, and then start countering that with the tools that I have to come up on the other side of it.

Summer:
Amazing. Incredible. I just love hearing you talk about I’ve always loved hearing you speak to these things. so lucky to have you. Thank you. So what’s your advice? What’s the one piece of advice that you have for people listening today,

Starlett:
the one, the biggest advice, and summer has said this over and over again, give yourself grace and mercy. That was fairly important throughout this process, give yourself grace and mercy with yourself. And don’t be hard on yourself, don’t beat yourself up. We are who we are. And we have enough to deal with in the world without us also having to deal with us not accepting us. And I really think that the grace and mercy part also helps me come over when I’m on the rabbit hole slopes, it’s another tool that I use and say, Okay, give myself the same grace, I would give my daughter give myself the same mercy that I would give her, like, I am valued and worthy of that same grace, and that same mercy, and I’m a person, and I start going back. And those things are true. Because another thing I also realized is the narrative of shady boots is based off of assumptions. And that’s why you can’t build your worth off of that you have to build your worth off what is true. And that’s very important. Yes, I my body has changed, that is true, but my worth hasn’t, you know, my, my value hasn’t. I just needed to see that. And I think that me being stripped down, and that being taken away was a great thing, because it allowed me to see me for me without all of these things defining or me allowing all these things to define who I am

Summer:
amazing, beautiful, again, like poignant. you’re always just so encouraging to other people, I think you Yeah, like, whenever we were on the calls together, you would, you would, you know, speak to these things like that. And I was always just like, I hope other people are like, you know, really absorbing this the way I am. You just have such a great way of, of communicating all of all of these concepts in your experiences in a way that I think uplifts others, too. So, I always really appreciated that, that in our interactions together. I always just it was like, it feels like you’re listening to like a motivational speaker. in a good way not and like – is there anything else that you want to add today before we wrap it up?

Starlett:
Yeah, just for anyone listening, it’s really important that you know, your worth and your value. It’s not tied up into the job you have. It’s not tied up into the titles you have how your body looks. It’s not tied up into any of those things. You are worthy and valuable, where you’re sitting at in this moment listening to this, you are valuable and you are worthy. And you don’t have to do if you didn’t do anything else, your worth and value would not change. And that’s one of the things I’m grateful that this program really opened up my eyes and got me to see.

Summer:
Yeah, beautiful, beautiful. Thank you so much for saying that. I think that’s the essence of it is just letting go of, you know, all of the sort of expectations that that we’ve internalized all of the external validation that we’re trying to hinge our worth on and really just come back to, you know, being at home in our body and being at home with ourselves and knowing that like we’re good enough, just as we are. So I appreciate you so much sharing your story today. It’s been so lovely to catch up with you. And every conversation that we had was always just so enjoyable for me, like I said, like I always took something away. Because I just I feel like you have such a great way of yeah, just thinking about these things and then and then sharing them with everybody else as well.

Starlett:
Thank you. I appreciate it. I really do and let’s be like she coached me through a lot guy. Lovering tears, I mean, all the things like it wasn’t always this this way. Just go through we go through the best together.

Summer:
Yeah. But then, like, you’ve got so much more clarity, and it’s just a beautiful part of it. And of course, there’ll be different iterations of that you’ll still be go through messy periods. We all do. But like you said, that’s where the clarity comes. So I appreciate that. I appreciate you being so open. I appreciate you being you know, like an active participant in that way and just and really committing to it and I think that it just shows the kind of you know, the difference that it makes you here today sharing everything that you’ve shared. So it’s just been it’s just been wonderful. I’m so grateful that you came into the program and into my life Starlet. Thank you.

Starlett:
And I’m grateful for you too, because there’s not a lot of people doing this. And I know why. Because if a lot of people if we had, if we knew our worth and our value, it will take a hit to capitalism, it’d be. And it’s unfortunate, because I wish there was more like this, like, I wish my daughter would grow up in the world and see more of this than what, what’s out there. Yeah, yeah. Well, you’re the biggest influence in her and you’re gonna have that impact. And she’s so lucky to have like, just so lucky to have you. Thank you. Yeah, it makes me so happy to know that she’s grown up with you.

Summer:
Yeah, it’s beautiful. Thank you so much starlet, I really appreciate you. Thank you.

Starlett:
Thank you for giving me this opportunity.

Summer:
I hope you enjoyed listening to that, I hope you feel galvanized and inspired and know that this is possible for you after hearing the story. And I love to share these stories, because I know that you can relate to them. And it’s super helpful to hear it from someone else who is newer to this work and is maybe in a little bit more of a similar place to yourself. And they can really show you that doesn’t matter your age, or your size, or if your body size has changed, but it is possible to feel more neutral in your body. And to really know that you are valuable and worthy. I think there’s there’s so much fear that can come up when we stop dieting, and the idea of our sector accepting our body can it can a lot of fear comes up like starlet was talking about, you know, this, like fear of what other people are gonna think of you. And or you might be afraid of like what’s going to happen to my body, or I’m never going to be able to trust myself or I failed everything else. I’m just going to fail this. And I just think that all of that stuff is just I mean, it’s the voice of our fear. But it we prove ourselves wrong. When we actually invest some time and energy into this work. You there’s nothing to lose by learning to value yourself beyond how you look and really moving through some of the feelings that are underneath. And in you on fire, I really help you to learn to be kinder to yourself, to quiet that judgmental voice in your head, and to stop caring so much about what other people think. So that you can live life on your terms you can speak up, you can be more intimate with your partner, you can enjoy social occasions more, we talk about how to really discover who you are and your value. And know that your value and what you bring to this world is so much far beyond your appearance. And more specifically, we really talk about how to feel physically and emotionally neutral about our body as well as as it relates to pictures as it relates to the mirror reflection. And when people really engage with this, they start to experience life differently because they have more agency over themselves and their opinions and their choices. And they’re more present in their everyday interactions. And they can look in the mirror and maybe like what they see or not, but go on with their day, and have so much more space and freedom like starlet said, it’s like it’s a relief. And they just have so much more mental space to just be fully present and experience the life that’s in front of them. And I absolutely adore everyone that I have the honor of working with because I get to witness this transformation. And I get to walk alongside them. And it’s not just like the fact that maybe they can wear a bikini now or go shopping and have have a be really fun. Like that stuff’s really important too. But what I really value is that there’s no going back for them. And with all the changes they experience, they start to leave a different kind of mark on this world. And whether that’s through being a different type of role model to your kids or being able to speak up against fat phobic stuff that they see. Like, that’s how we start to change this culture. And when we open our eyes to the ways that we been influenced by society standards, and we say I’m not going to take this anymore, it can result in some really incredible things. And the end result is the impact we leave on others. And that creates this ripple effect. And I do this work because I know that you are all you listening, you are inherently worthy. And it is possible for you to believe that for yourself and really experience that. And it’s amazing what can happen in three months or six months. If you take the leap and really decide to put some time and intention into this. And I would love nothing more than to support you with that. So you’re that’s peeking your interest. Go get all the details for you on fire, get your name on the waitlist at summer innanen.com forward slash you on fire. I’ve been running this program for over seven years. So I have a little bit of experience. Hmm. Now, I’ve been running this program for over seven years. And I see the impact it has and I’m blown away by the transformations that take place

It’s really about transforming how you see yourself and your outlook on life. So thank you so much for listening today. I’ve got another story to share next week. And then we’ve got some other amazing interviews through to the new year. So, thank you again for listening. You can find everything that was mentioned here, including a video version of this interview at summer innanen.com forward slash 246. Thank you so much for being here today. Rock on.

I’m Summer Innanen. And I want to thank you for listening today. You can follow me on Instagram and Facebook at summer Innanen. And if you haven’t yet, go to Apple podcasts search eat the rules and subscribe rate and review this show. I would be so grateful. Until next time, rock on

Summer:
This episode of eat the rules is brought to you by you on fire you on fire is the online group coaching program that I run that gives you a step by step way of building up your self worth beyond your appearance. With personalized coaching from me incredible community support and lifetime access to the program so that you can get free from body shame and live life on your own terms. Get details on what’s included and sign up for the next cycle at summer innanen.com forward slash you on fire. I’d love to have you in that group.

This is eat the rules, a podcast about body image self worth, anti dieting, and intersectional feminism. I am your host summer Innanen. a professionally trained coach specializing in body image self worth and confidence and the best selling author of body image remix. If you’re ready to break free of societal standards and stop living behind the number on your scale, then you have come to the right place. Welcome to the show.

This is part two of episode 246. And it’s the second part of this episode where I’m sharing another story of someone that I had the incredible pleasure of working with during the you ON FIRE program. April is on the show today sharing her story and I can’t wait for you to hear it. You can find all the links mentioned in this podcast the transcript and video versions of these interviews at summer innanen.com Ford slash 246 for episode 246 First I want to give a shout out to OUI OUI Wawa, who left this review. Summer is consistent in her work her message and interviews really strong, positive women who have slowly helped me change my mindset. Thank you so much. I love hearing that. Don’t forget to leave a review for the show. And thanks to everyone who left a review in the month of October, I got a free copy of the book. I received so many wonderful reviews. I’m super excited to read them on there. So stay tuned for those and I will be reading yours if you left one. But you can leave a review by going to iTunes or Apple podcasts search for eat the roll then click ratings and reviews and click to leave a review or give it a rating. Don’t forget to grab the free 10 Day body confidence makeover at summer innanen.com. Forward slash freebies with 10 steps to take right now to feel better in your body. And if you are a professional that works with people who may have body image struggles, I have a body image coaching roadmap for you, you can grab that at summer innanen.com forward slash roadmap. Before we get into sharing April’s story, I just want to talk about two things. First, I want to give a bit of a content warning. April does mention some childhood sexual abuse as well as there is some more specific mentions of dieting behaviors. So if that’s going to be triggering for you, then just skip this episode completely. Second thing I just wanted to mention is a little bit about you on fire since April is in the you ON FIRE program you on fire is the online group coaching program that I run. It’s an amazing program where you receive a lot of personalized coaching from me as well as community support, as well as a huge roster of materials for you to work through to help you get free from body shame and live life on your own terms. I think what I love most about this program is that I really get to know each person really well individually through the coaching calls, as well as in our Facebook group. And it’s just like such a joy to see the transformation happen. It really happens slowly. It’s not like a quick thing. It’s not a quick fix. It happens slowly over time. But just hearing the the sort of the AHA is and the mindset shifts and, you know, hearing someone come to a call and say, oh my gosh, I was able to do this for the first time or this is feeling so much better for me. Like it’s just such an incredible experience to witness people learn to be kinder to themselves and really quiet that judgmental voice and end the war with their body. I think that’s like everyone who comes into this program says like, I feel like I’m at war with my body. Or I feel like you know, I’m successful in every other area of my life. But this is just the area that I still continue to struggle with. And it’s just amazing to see what happens. And it’s also cool because like so much of the work we do isn’t specifically around your body. It’s around, really cultivating your sense of self worth beyond your appearance so that you don’t worry so much about what the reflection is telling you or what all of these other external things are saying to you. For example, other people’s opinions or the size of your clothing or any

There’s other things that we sort of rely on to tell us how we should feel about ourselves. It’s really about coming home to yourself and like realizing who you are and having a strong conviction on that and advocating for your wants and your needs and, and knowing your purpose and knowing your values and being present in your life and having more agency over yourself. And we do bodywork as well. And the bodywork is really around feeling more neutral with the reflection in the mirror with pictures, being able to do the things you want to do, whether that’s like be intimate with your partner, or wear a bikini to the beach. And the best part is just like the reclamation of mental space, you know, I think a consistent thing I hear from people is that they just have so much more mental space to just be and be present in their life and experience the life that’s in front of them. And as we get older, it’s like, you know, do we want to continue to sort of be in this place where we’re spending hours a day thinking about what we’re eating, or how we’re moving? Or how we look? Or do we want to move to a place where like, we can have that time and space back and get to the age of 80 and be like, okay, like, I am so glad but I’m not in that place that I was in 30 or 40 years ago, or whatever it was for them. Because there’s no going back. Like once you invest in this process, once you start to do this work, there’s really, there’s really no going back like it just, it just you just can’t turn around. I mean, sometimes we have moments where we feel the tempting pole of diets pull us back in but for the most part, like you’re just on this trajectory now, and I can light the gasoline on that fire by helping you with that. So if you want me to be your coach, if you want to be in this group, then definitely get the details on you on fire by going to summer innanen.com forward slash you on fire. And you can always just DM me and ask me about it. We can get on a phone call to see if it’s right for you. And yeah, let’s do this. But Okay, without further ado, let’s get to April story. So again, content warning mentions of childhood sexual abuse, as well as some mention of a little bit more specific dieting behaviors. So definitely skip this episode if that’s going to be triggering for you. Otherwise, here’s April story.

Hello, April, welcome to the show.

April:
Hi, nice to be here. I’m excited and nervous.

Summer:
Yeah, which is totally normal. I still get nervous when I’m on podcast.

I would love for you to just tell everyone just a little bit about who you are. You know what you do where you live? A little bit about you that you don’t mind sharing?

April:
Sure. My name is April. And I currently live in kind of the Philly suburbs just north of the city right along the border of the city. And Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I’m 46 years old. I will be 47 and November in a month. Actually. I see I’m a veteran, I was in the Air Force. I was a nurse in the Air Force. I’ve got my bachelor’s in nursing. And currently I have my master’s in applied meditation. So I am currently actually teaching meditation at a retirement community not far from my house. I’ve been doing that for a couple of years. And I’ve taught meditation at other places. I write some things sometimes. And I am a single mom to a 17 year old boy. And I’m a cat mom. And yeah, that’s me. That’s nice. I don’t think I knew that you had a master’s and meditation and taught at the retirement.

Summer:
That’s so that’s so cool. What a great job. That’s awesome.

April:
Yeah, it really is. It’s really just, you know, I just love my little group. And you know, they really do sit and you know, through all kinds of different hardships and difficulties and transitions in their lives and they show up and they sit and they’re just you know, it’s they teach me a lot. And what do they teach them? Yeah, this makes sense now because I, I’m getting ahead of myself, but this makes sense now because we were always so amazing. It like tuning into your body. Okay. Yes, that makes sense. Okay.
Because I was always like, Wow, looks okay.
No, like, okay. Yeah, well, I’ve been so I got my degree I’ve probably been meditating for as long as my, I started when my kid was 18 months, two years old. I started meditating and then went back to school. So I’ve been meditating for a while. So yeah, it’s been a long journey of tuning into my body, for sure.

Summer:
Yeah. Amazing. So speaking of your body, what were some of the frustrations that you had with your body before we started working together?

April:
Well, you know, I actually, I remember when I started hating my body, and I started hating my body. When I was eight years old. I was in a household where I was sexually abused. And I lived there. About a year, maybe two years before that, I don’t even remember thinking about my body. After that, I really started, you know, this punishing relationship with my body with her responses. I recall, when I lived in that house, the perpetrator would very often grabbed me around my middle, especially like in public, where, you know, it seemed innocuous, but it wasn’t. And ever since then I have hated my stomach, my middle. And I remember, when we left that environment, I started eating for comfort, you know, I was a kid, and I was trying to comfort myself. And so I would eat and I put on some weight. And, you know, at that point, you know, family would say things and, you know, people wouldn’t were noticing, and I, all of my frustration and need to control really, at an early age got directed towards my middle, you know, and I’ve had years, I mean, I started going to therapy for post traumatic stress and dealing with that for I’ve been in therapy, gosh, on and off all different types for 20 years, but, you know, I never really address my relationship with food and exercise, and hating specific parts of my body really, you know, in relation to food and exercise. So my frustrations, you know, with my body were, I felt like, you know, my middle, my stomach, my tummy was such a vulnerable place. And I, I look back now, and I know I’ve been I’ve spent years trying to shrink it, make it small, make it not soft, because that’s vulnerable. And so before, you know, starting the program, I slowly over time, over 20 years was restricting my food exercising more and more. And I felt like, you know, I had gotten to a place where I was kind of had control have control over my food had control over my, my body and, and my exercise, but I always felt, you know, I was at the point where I was exercising, you know, six times a week, a couple hours each time. And I always felt like I was fighting kind of the extra weight that my body wanted, and needed, and I always knew it, my body wanted to be bigger than I was letting it be. And I felt like I was in this constant battle with my body and with my metal. And I was terrified, I was terrified of my middle showing up, and I was terrified of the extra weight showing up. So, you know, even though I felt like I was finally in control, and exercising a lot and not eating very much. And, you know, I could just feel that kind of fear of okay, but if I ever stopped what’s gonna happen if I ever stopped what’s gonna happen. And, you know, it, pushed me and pushed me and pushed me. And then, I guess 2019 2018 2019 I went through a really difficult separation and divorce. And at that point, I was compulsively exercising but didn’t realize that my stress response was to naughty, I had never really been through an intense, stressful time, like a separation and divorce. And part of my grief and stress response, you know, I’d wake up nauseous, I’d go to bed nauseous, and I just couldn’t really eat. Like when you’re grieving and your body just kind of, you know, everybody’s body does different things. And I think that’s when I realized unhealthily that, oh, I could just not eat. And I think that’s when I started dabbling with kind of intermittent fasting, I’m just really restricting an addition to the compulsive exercise in that I was doing.

And I was getting exhausted, and my body was hurting, and my hip was hurting, and my shoulder was hurting, my body was wearing out, even though you know, kind of all the things I was doing. society supports, and especially if you’re going through a divorce, you know, everyone has this idea of you should be this Phoenix Rising and get in better shape. And so society, you know, people would say, oh, you know, you look great. And I was thinking, I’m not eating, you know, and I’m wearing my body out. And so I remember standing at the top of my stairs, I think was on my, on the phone with my best friend and I said, you know, I remember having this idea. I’m exhausted. If I could just like myself, all this could stop.

If I could just like my body, all this, this could stop. And so I think slowly. Even though I was still compulsively exercise even though I was still fasting, I started dipping my toe into, you know, kind of an anti diet world I started listening to audiobooks, even though I was still doing the behaviors, I started listening to audiobooks, I started listening to podcasts. And I, you know, I think I found on YouTube, there was this video diary of someone and I can’t remember what her name was. But it was a woman who just decided to stop, you know, dieting, and just eat normal. And she kind of chronicled her journey for like a year. And I was fascinated by it. And I remember one of the audio books talked about taking a break from exercise to change your relationship. And I thought, oh, I need to do that. My body’s hurting, I’m tired, I need to do that. And I was on a walk. And I had discovered your podcast. And I was on a walk kind of mulling over. Okay, well, I need help. If I’m gonna stop exercising, I realized kind of, I needed community or I need help, I needed a guide, I needed tools, because I was terrified. And I was really afraid I wouldn’t be able to take a pause, without help. And so that’s when I kind of looked more into your program. And that’s when I joined your program was when I was actually like really ready to get support and help. Just emotional support and help to stop exercising because it was terrifying. It was terrifying, this idea of giving up control for some reason, and that kind of way. So anyway, that that’s a long answer.

Summer:
Question, but there’s really good. So grateful. You shared that. Thank you. And I’m just Yeah, so sorry, you had to go through so much to get to the place where you are. But you mentioned that fear of like giving up control like how did you? How did you how did like, like what made you make the decision to be like, okay, but I can’t do this anymore. Like, was there anything where it was just like, I don’t know, like, I sort of talked about how the fear of staying where you are has to be greater than the fear of letting go of control? You know what I mean?

April:
Yeah, like, yeah, it was the physical pain in my body. So I was hitting a wall. So I used to be a dancer, you still love dancing. And I haven’t in a while. And it’s been partly the pandemic stopped everything and the divorce kind of stopped everything. But also, I, my body was physically hurting so much, and I was having to manage exercising, and manage my life around exercise that I really couldn’t do anything else physically. Anything that I really enjoyed, and I, I just knew, I was like, If I don’t, it was the physical pain that I lose physical hip pain, physical shoulder pain, where I just knew, if I kept pushing it, you know, I may have already done some damage with chronic exercising, but I knew if I kept pushing, I was going to severely limits. The next half of my life, you know, I’m kind of at a stage where I’m single, My son is about to leave for college, and I’m about to, you know, be in this transition space. Okay. You know, it’s my time and I didn’t, I was terrified of that, of injuring my body so much that that next stage of my life was going to be severely limited. Like, what if I can’t start dancing I got and so for me, that was I just knew my body was telling me, and it had been whispering and I wasn’t listening. And it was hurting so bad that I was like, Okay, it’s I’m gonna have to either make a change or just be determined to exercise myself into, like an injury. I can’t maybe can’t come back from. Yeah, so that’s, yeah, that’s what motivated me. I was like, wow, look what I’m doing in my body. It was just it was the pain. Yeah. Physical pain.

Summer:
Yeah. So what were some of the things that helped you move forward in the program?

April:
You know, for me, one of the very first things the closet purge was so helpful. I had a couple of closet, closets full of clothes that didn’t fit and clothes from an old me, the me who was married and the me who went out and you know, I had fancy clothes from doing things and fundraisers with my ex husband and I hadn’t been able to really face getting rid of a lot of that and the closet purge as I did it a couple of times. But that was so freeing and helpful as emotionally difficult as it was, I mean, there were several times throughout it that I would have to stop and kind of let myself cry.

I let myself feel the feelings and then when it would subside a bit, okay, we’re gonna do this and so the closet purge was really really helpful for me. The visualizations for me the visualizing the doppelganger who ended up looking an awful lot like my eight year old, scared and angry self, and the visualizing myself, I think I want to say was it 20 years in the future? Yeah, remember one? Yeah, yeah. So those things. For me, also, the coaching calls extremely helpful, just hearing other people in the same space that I was in that constant reminder, to wear pants that fit.

Me being like, go on to the middle of a coaching call. I’m like, I’m hating myself. I think I’m wearing pants that are too tight. And you were like, put on pants a bit. I was like, right now you’re like, yeah, right now, I was like, Okay, we’re doing this.

And honestly, as little as that seems, that’s been so helpful. You know, I, you know, the feeling of tightness around my middle has always been a bit triggering to me, but I never connected, or at least as I was going through this process of, you know, tuning my relationship with my body and putting on the weight that she wanted to put on. And then my tight pants were really triggering self hatred that it was from long time ago, but didn’t really connect it and, and putting on pants that are comfortable is huge, like huge. And no one ever said that to me before we’ll put on pants that are comfortable. And I’ll also say the other thing that was so helpful about your program was the intersectional feminism, because, you know, when I came into the program, I was feeling a lot of frustration and anger about a lot of things, but also about kind of the societal pressure that’s put on, and I think anyone after a divorce, but I think, also that it’s put on women after divorce to be this sort of, you know, we need to lose weight, you need to get in shape, you need to be this Phoenix Rising, and I was feeling a lot of anger about that pressure and didn’t feel fair to me. And, you know, I, so I can and I’ve always considered myself a, you know, a strong woman and a feminist and honestly, the intersectional feminism and the allowing of anger towards society and these ideas of our value being based on how fuckable we are, you know, like, I found myself feeling so angry about that, especially because I was starting to dip into dating apps and thinking about dating again. And I could feel all of that. And I love that your program gave permission to that part of it. Like I think that was really helpful too. Because as I’ve gone through grief, and I’ve done some read some books and audio books about grief, you know, the ones I tend to feel an affinity towards are the ones that kind of allow the difficult emotions, you know, that view anger as a fierce form of self protection. And so I think the fact that your program embrace that, as well, was just really refreshing. Like, it wasn’t just about touchy feely, loving your body, it was also allowed to be about anger, and not just towards ourselves, but towards the systems that put this pressure on us to look a certain way and live a certain way. And unhealthy ways. So that I think for me, was so huge as well, I just That was refreshing and much needed. So yeah.

Summer:
Oh, I appreciate all that. Thank you so much. Thank you for sharing.
So what are some of the specific things you’ve noticed about how you feel like since doing since doing the program, or from where you from where you were, like, you know, a few months ago and so intense with the, you know, the exercise and restriction?

April:
Well, I strangely, you know, I’ve been able to so I found myself recently recently so it’s still a work in progress. It’s not like you know, I did the program for five weeks or however long it is and 10 weeks and then suddenly everything’s better. It’s been a long kind of messy process. But you know, strangely lately I’ve been feeling really really just neutral in my body and and that’s amazing and this neutral relationship with movement to like when I feel like exercising because my body wants to feel good, you know, and wants to listen to music and wants to move I do it. If I’m busy, you know, with my kid and we’re doing stuff and it’s a busy day a couple of days week and I can’t get to it. I don’t freak out, like I have this really kind of much more neutral relationship with it. And I’m just really, really grateful for that. And I’ve even had moments. So I think I had told you, I was going to see family in Florida and I had to, you know, get a bathing suit for the first time since I started this whole process. And, you know, I did, and I wore it and my brother was there. My mom, my stepdad, were there. And I just put the bathing suit on. And we went out on the boat and had a good day. And it didn’t, I didn’t really think about I mean, it may be crossed my mind to be like, Oh, I wonder how I look. But if I’m enjoying this, you know, I wasn’t obsessed with how I might look, I was more focused on how I felt in the moment. I had moments, I’ve had difficult moments still standing in front of a mirror. But I’ve also had moments in front of the mirror, where I’ve been like, Oh, this is me. And I might even think she’s beautiful, even with extra weight, even in a larger body. And it’s funny this week I was, since it’s the season, trying on Halloween costumes. And there was a moment I tried to figure out what I’m going to do for Halloween because it’s a big deal. We give out candy all dressed up. And I was like, Oh, I might even feel sexy. Like and that’s, you know, I’m not sure I would have said, I don’t know that I felt that way. In my own skin. Even since starting this. And I think I started with you want to say January’s a bit, almost a year maybe. And so most of the time, I’m not thinking too much about it, which is a relief. And there are moments where I even feel good in my skin and or accepting of who I am and my skin, which is wonderful. And then, you know, there’s still hard days too, but I have mantras that I use to get through the hard days, or I know it’ll pass or I’m just in a much more comfortable, less frantically trying to control space than I was a year ago.

Summer:
Yeah, that’s incredible. Really, like, you know, because you’re talking about being pretty extreme. Before we started working together, and so to get where you are now, like, That’s really incredible, I hope you’re so proud of of it, because I just think that it’s like, it’s amazing. And it’s just such an inspiration to others who are who are listening that it just it really is possible to you know, loosen those reins and, and feel more comfortable. And now it’s not perfect, but it’s, you know, it’s a hell of a lot better than where, than where we were before. So how does all that feel for you?

April:
It you know, it’s funny. I think I said this previously, but when you first talked to me about, you know, sharing my story. I was like, No way. I’m hardly anywhere. I’m still in the messy middle of all this, like, what can I share. But then as I, you know, thought about it and thought about my journey and thought about where I honestly, it’s only in the past few days, as I’ve really been kind of sitting with it that I’m like, Oh, wow, I really am in a different place. When you’re in it, you don’t feel sometimes it’s easy to feel like you’re the same person you were a year ago, because the change is so incremental. And so kind of, you know, we have this idea that change happens in the sea, you know, epiphany will, you know, trumpets blaring moment. And that’s not really how change happens. It’s like the everyday little tiny moves we make in a direction. And then a year later, you look back and go oh, wait, you know. So it’s like, I didn’t realize I was in a really different place. I mean, I realized I was more comfortable in a bathing suit. And I realized certain moments. But I don’t know, if I looked back and really realized it until the last few days. It’s hard for me to say I’m proud of myself, just because that’s hard for me to say because I you know, I’m so hard on myself, but I’m glad I’m in a different place than I was a year ago.

Summer:
For sure. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, you articulated the way that change happens really well because I think it’s like you don’t notice how things have changed until you really sit down and reflect and be like, Oh, I don’t do that anymore. Or that doesn’t happen that way anymore. This feels different now. But when we’re just sort of on the treadmill of life moving forward, you don’t always notice these little shifts that happen until they’ve maybe been gone for a while and you and you really reflect and look back.

April:
Yeah, and you know, now that I think about it, kids are wonderful reflection, of what kind of change and progress you’ve made. Because they will tell you, you know, we were in the car, and I was actually talking about doing this interview, and my son who is in a larger body, we have really kind of been on this journey together of pushing back against, you know, diet culture. And he said to me, in the car, he’s like, Yeah, Mom, you weren’t eating, you’re not in a healthy space. And he’s noticed a change, like, he’s noticed I’m in a better space. And, you know, and we’re doing it together. And in fact, he goes to a trainer, because his goal is to get stronger, not so much to be smaller. And he, one of the trainers, you know, said something to him, that was very uncomfortable. And because of us going through this process together, he was able to push back and push back against kind of these gendered stereotypes of what being strong looks like. And, you know, the next week, he went to his trainer, and the trainer apologized and said he was wrong. You know, so, yeah, so we’re kind of doing this together. And so he’s reflected to me, that I’m in a different space than I was. And I hadn’t realized he had noticed, and was worried about where I was. Wow. So yeah, that’s pretty meaningful to hear that from Yeah, like just that. Yeah. Yeah.

Summer:
And he’s so lucky to have you, I think I said that to you before.

April:
So we’re gonna make me cry on the podcast.

Summer:
No one can see.

So what’s one piece of advice you’d give to other people going through a similar experience,

April:
I would say, you know, even though you’re in a program, go at your own pace, go in your own way, allow your own time, for the seeds of all this stuff, to really kind of thinking. And, even though there’s these tools, and these modules, you know, I would want people to really feel empowered to do this in a way that is unique to you, and your situation and your life, and be gentle with yourself about that. I mean, I know, for me, I tend towards being very type A and controlling, and just of myself, you know, and how I do things, and very hard on myself. And one thing I’ve really, that’s really helped, is to give myself permission to be patient, I let these things work in the time that my body in my system needs them to work. And that may be different than the person sitting next to you, or on the Zoom call next to, and that’s okay, and just trust that, you know, all the things you’re learning and all the things you’re hearing are, they’re sinking in, and they’re in there. And, you know, when you’re ready, those things will come to fruition, but only when you’re ready. And so I think, you know, learning to trust yourself, I, you know, I have these mantras that I use when it gets messy, and when I have a bad day. And one of them is I trust myself, my timing and my body. And I think that’s, you know, allow yourself to be uniquely you, as you do this process. You don’t have to be anyone else while you do this. That’s what I would offer.

Summer:
Beautiful, beautiful, thank you so much. Is there anything else that you want to say or share before we wrap things up here?

April:
No, I mean, honestly, I am so grateful. I’m so grateful for this process. I’m so grateful for the modules. I’m so grateful for this, even just this this, you know, thinking about these questions and thinking about my journey is a huge gift. And, you know, that sharing that might help someone else is really, really a gift in this process, too. So no, I thank you, thank you for what you do. Thank you for you know, your fierceness about it. That’s really helpful. And you know, the intersectional feminism, wonderful piece. I’m just so grateful for that. So I’m just no I’m thankful for this. And I’m and I just want to encourage everybody that you’re you’re doing it, you’re doing it even if you don’t feel like you’re doing it you are you really are.

Summer:
Yeah, amazing. April. It’s been such a pleasure. I just always really treasured our conversations and supporting you through this and I’m just so lucky. I got to be your coach in this in this process. And you’re just you’re always so supportive of everyone else as well. And yeah, I just really appreciated having you in in the group and appreciate you sharing your story here today. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.

I hope you enjoyed hearing April’s story as much as I did. If you want to hear more episodes like this, you can find episode 134 164 176 and episode 212. There’s also I have a YouTube channel. If you just Google Summer Innanen, YouTube, I’m sure you can find it there. I actually I think it’s LinkedIn, every blog post for these podcast episodes. But you can watch all the video versions of these interviews as well. There’s, there’s so many of them there. I think there’s at least over 30 from the people that I’ve interviewed over the years who’ve done the program. I’ve been running you on fire for over seven years. And like I just, I love it, I love the people in it. It just brings me so much joy to here to to walk beside them to coach them to stay in touch with them and hear where they are years later. It’s it’s just such an incredible experience. If you want to learn more about it, go to summer innanen.com forward slash you on fire. I’m so grateful for April to share that for being here to share her story. She’s an incredible human. And I’m just so grateful that she’s in such a different place than she was a year ago. And she was always an awesome participant in the program. So it was such a pleasure. All right, thank you so much for listening today. I’m so glad that you were here you can get the transcript or the other show notes for this episode. You can see the previous week’s episode with starlet at summer innanen.com forward slash 246 Thank you again for being here today. I will talk to you again soon rock on.

I’m Summer Innanen. And I want to thank you for listening today. You can follow me on Instagram and Facebook at summer Innanen. And if you haven’t yet, go to Apple podcasts search eat the rules and subscribe rate and review this show. I would be so grateful. Until next time, rock on.

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