Welcome to the Rock Your Body Spotlight series! Where we meet three inspirational “Rockstars” and hear about their journey to food and body freedom.
This week, we meet Celeste who did Rock Your Body in spring 2014.
A girl called ‘Smiley’.
Celeste used to have a nickname: “Smiley.”
As the name implies, she was known for her extraverted personality, her upbeat vibe, and of course, her 100 watt grin.
But somewhere along the way that smile faded.
It started, as many stories do, with a break-up.
A bad one.
Like many women, Celeste turned the boy’s bad behavior on herself.
She looked in the mirror and thought, ‘If I’m not good enough – not thin enough – for him, how can I be good enough for anyone else?’
So Celeste began to diet. Actually, she did much more than diet. She jumped into the rabbit hole of bikini competitions. And with it, a new world of disordered eating.
“When I look back and ask myself why I did it, I realize I was looking for approval,” explains Celeste. “I know it sounds insane. But I thought if I looked a certain way, people will love me better.”
A new normal.
The world of figure competitions are, well, competitive. Leanness is highly prized. That can be a dangerous combination for someone prone to disordered eating.
“I became obsessed,” says Celeste. Her eating became incredibly strict. Foods were deliberately chosen, carefully weighed and measured. Eating for fun, casually with friends or family, became a thing of the past.
It might sound strange – unless you’re in it.
“In the world of bikini and figure competitions, everyone is obsessed with food,” explains Celeste. “It just became my new normal.”
Yes, Celeste did indeed lose body fat while she was competing. But it’s what lingered after she left the stage that really changed her.
Celeste couldn’t let go of her new food rules. Worse yet, she couldn’t stop the inner judgment that came with them.
She felt plagued by constant feeling that she was “being bad”. She thought, “I’m cheating” every time she ate something other than asparagus or egg whites. And she carried around an entrenched belief that she was never good enough.
Hiding in the land of the sun.
Her environment didn’t help. Celeste was living in Las Vegas at the time, where she felt constantly judged by her appearance.
“I couldn’t avoid it. For example, I have always had great teeth. But then my dentist suggested veneers. He even had me doubting my smile.”
Struggling with her self-worth, Celeste found herself trapped in an all-or-nothing diet mentality that led to frequent binges. She gained weight, and retreated inwards.
“I stopped living,” says Celeste. “There’s so much to see and do in Vegas, and there are so many interesting people there. And I’m a people person. But I stopped going out. I became reclusive.
“I was living in the land of the sun! But I wouldn’t go to the pool, because I’d have to wear a swimsuit. In fact, I never even wanted to leave the house. I felt so icky in my own skin.”
Celeste realized something had to change. It was time to stop hiding.
So she contacted me.
It wasn’t long until Celeste had a breakthrough moment.
With my guidance and one of the Rock Your Body ‘missions’, she went to the local pool. Not to be seen. But to take a look at the people around her.
“That was my a-ha moment. I went to the pool. I wore a bathing suit. And I looked around and I realized I wasn’t some abnormality. In fact, people of all shapes and sizes were having fun. Rocking their bathing suits. Being themselves.”
Celeste realized that she was missing out, for no reason at all.
“I decided that day that I’m okay. Just the way I am.”
And she kept going back to the pool.
Finding her inner smile.
Through that day at the pool, Celeste discovered something important: “People aren’t judging you by what you weigh. They’re judging you by your smile. And I had lost that inner smile.”
With this knowledge, and the support of myself and her fellow Rock Your Body ‘Rockstars’ Celeste kept on making positive changes in her life.
She stopped labeling foods ‘bad’ or ‘good.’ She purged her closet and went shopping for clothes that fit. And she started a simple ritual of looking at herself in the mirror and saying to herself: ‘you’re okay.’
Today, Celeste feels more than okay. She feels like herself again.
Gone are the days of staying indoors, too afraid to go the gym, or the beach, or the club. Gone are the days of refusing eye contact with strangers. And hiding behind baggy clothes.
Celeste wears skinny jeans and doesn’t let the size on the waistband define her.
She goes to the gym, and embraces her love of athletics.
She eats cookies if she wants them (or doesn’t, if she’s not in the mood.)
She hikes, goes stand-up-paddleboarding, and is comfortable wearing her “nothing left to the imagination” yoga pants or strutting her stuff in a deliciously sexy dress. And she’s perfectly happy to tell you that she looks amazing doing it. Just the way she is.
If you hear Celeste speak you’ll hear her smile shine through. And no wonder.
“I feel really good about myself now,” says Celeste. “My inner smile is back.”
Ready to get your inner smile back? Join my FREE Rock Your Body online class – When you sign-up, you’ll get access to 3 free training videos + 3 exciting ‘missions’ to help you learn what’s got you making such a big deal over every bite and be the woman that eats whatever she damn well pleases and feels fabulous.
If you’re ready to rock, then scissor kick your way over here to watch the trailer and enter your name and email.
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