We also talk about specific tools to use to learn to thrive if you feel like you’re more sensitive.

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Summer:
This episode of eat the rules is brought to you by you on fire you on fire is the online group coaching program that I run that gives you a step by step way of building up your self worth beyond your appearance. With personalized coaching from me incredible community support and lifetime access to the program so that you can get free from body shame and live life on your own terms. Get details on what’s included and sign up for the next cycle at summer innanen.com forward slash you on fire. I’d love to have you in that group. This is eat the rules, a podcast about body image self worth, anti dieting and intersectional feminism. I am your host summer Innanen. a professionally trained coach specializing in body image self worth and confidence and the best selling author of body image remix. If you’re ready to break free of societal standards and stop living behind the number on your scale, then you have come to the right place. Welcome to the show.

This is episode 255. And I’m joined by Ivy Felicia, the body relationship coach. We’re talking about what it’s like to be highly sensitive people and how this can influence your relationship with your body. And why it might make things a little bit trickier for you but also why it might make things better for you. We talk about specific tools that you can use to learn to thrive if you feel like you’re a more sensitive person. You can find the links and resources mentioned at summer innanen.com forward slash 255 I want to give a shout out to Melissa who left this review summers podcast is chock full of grounded advice and steps anyone can take to be more comfortable in their body. She is my go to resource for body image anti dieting and a thoughtful intersectional feminist perspective. She is like the why sister I never had and always wanted just love her on this podcast highly recommend. Oh, thank you so much, Melissa. That means a lot to me. But I don’t know if you really would want to be my sister. But I can be pretty demanding. No, I’m just joking. Actually, no, that is true. Thank you so much for leaving that review though. I really appreciate it. You can go to iTunes search for eat the rules, click ratings and reviews and click to leave a review for this podcast. You can also hit that subscribe button via whatever platform you use. Don’t forget to grab the free 10 Day body confidence makeover at summer innanen.com forward slash freebies with 10 steps to take right now to feel better in your body. And if you’re a professional who works with people who may have body image struggles get the free body image coaching roadmap at summer innanen.com forward slash roadmap today on the show, I am really excited to welcome back my friend and colleague IV Felicia, she has been on the show before quite a while ago, it was episode 74. I’ll link to that in the show notes. But we decided to come together to have this conversation because I had posted something on my social media about how being a more highly sensitive person you may bump up against things when you’re trying to heal your relationship with your body that might feel more significant than if you’re not a highly sensitive person. So for example, like rejection or judgment may feel that much more threatening to you. And it’s only been in the last like couple years that I’ve really come to the realization that I am a highly sensitive person. I think the idea of being a highly sensitive person was something I just didn’t want to be. So I sort of convinced myself I wasn’t. And then it wasn’t until I had my son and I started to learn about highly sensitive kids and recognize those behaviors in him that I started to recognize the exact same thing in myself. So that was been like a really mind blowing, interesting shifting thing for me to experience in my own life. And it’s really helped me see how this can intersect with body image and self worth and the way that we judge ourselves. Because if we are more highly sensitive, then things are going to feel that much stronger. And that is for positive things too, which is the plus side of this whole thing. So I’m really excited to have IV on the show to chat about this. Even if you don’t identify as highly sensitive. Just take a listen, maybe you might hear yourself in here. And even if you don’t, there’s still some really great advice around just tools that we can use overall to really care for our overall well being and become more resilient IV Felicia is the body relationship coach, she helps people make peace with their bodies so that they can thrive in their lives for almost 10 years. She’s helped those who feel inadequate in their bodies learn how to reclaim their power. Some of her areas of expertise are divesting from diet culture living in a larger body navigating chronic illness and exploring weight neutral wellness. Let’s get started with the show. Hi, Ivy, welcome to the show.

Ivy:
Thank you summer. I’m excited to be here. Your meet you

Summer:
I know it’s been it’s been a while since you were, since I interviewed you for the ERP. I know we’ve spoken like a few times. But it’s been a while since I’ve interviewed you. So I’m really excited to have this discussion with you today. And this came about because I made a post about why healing body image might be hard might feel harder if you’re a highly sensitive person. And we connected outside of the realm of social media about it and thought it would be really great to do a podcast about it, because I know that you identify as a highly sensitive person as well. And so to talk about the intersection of those two things, I think would be really interesting. Yes.

Ivy:
When you when I saw you post about it, I was thinking about it, like you said, the intersection of them. And it just it really resonated like, hey, yeah, that definitely is a thing. So I’m excited to get into the conversation. Yeah.

Summer:
So I’m just curious for you, like, Did you always identify that way? Like, when did you sort of come to this realization of like, I’m a more sensitive person,

Ivy:
I feel like I’ve always had a knowing. And by always, I would say, like, adolescence at childhood, I knew that I was different. And things just hit me different. I processed things different. I felt things different. But I didn’t have language for it. And the language really didn’t come until I would say around 2015. So that was about seven years ago. And coincidentally, my husband pointed it out to me. And he was saying he read read an article about it. And he was sent. We weren’t married men, but he sent it to me and said, I think this could be you. And I read it. And I just started digging into HSP. And all that was like, Oh my gosh, this is. So that’s when I got official language for it. Yeah,

Summer:
that’s so interesting. And so I, let’s take a step back. And actually, I pulled the definition of what it what it means to be a highly sensitive person, which I feel like it’s probably good for people who are listening who maybe don’t quite understand it, but it just says that high sensitivity is a personality trait that involves increased responsiveness to both positive and negative influences. So it sort of involves like, you can be sensitive to external stimuli, like whether that’s smell or noise or things in your surroundings. But it also means like, more kind of emotionally sensitive, like, whether that’s picking up on other people’s feelings, or, or noticing things like for example, if you’re watching a violent TV show, like really sort of feeling that more, but also the more positive things like, you know, like hearing music, and like really feeling that deeply or seeing something beautiful. So I just wanted to kind of explain that to people listening. It’s really interesting, because for myself, like I remember I had Rachael cool on the show several years ago, like before, I think I was still pregnant, or even before I was pregnant. And she was talking about being a highly sensitive person. And at the time, I was like, I don’t, that’s not me, I really didn’t like identify that way. And it’s only through noticing my son being that way that I started to really read about it and realize, like, oh, my gosh, no, this this really is me this and I think it’s because I had resisted it. So did you ever sort of resist that identification? Like did you see that as a bad thing? Because I feel like culturally, like, we don’t want to be sensitive.

Ivy:
Oh, yeah. When I before I had language for it, well, let me say it this way. I’ve gone through ebbs and flow with this. So there’s definitely been times of resistance. I think, when I was younger, in my adolescence and teens and things like that, it was just sort of like, Why do I feel everything so strongly. And then I also got a lot of negative feedback from people, both like, you know, family, and then also just people who were in my inner circle, and it’s like, it was always your soul sensitive, right? And it was more problematic for people. So then I had shame around it, because it seemed like, Oh, I’m an inconvenience for the world because I am sensitive. And then for me, I just was aware of it. From the emotional standpoint, I didn’t even have any understanding of it from the physical and all the other things, right. So I would say even now, there’s still ebb and flow. Like I’m learning a lot of different tools and ways to embrace it. But there are times when I’ve had really high resistance to it. And then there’s times where it’s like, oh, this is beautiful. Yeah, embrace it. Yeah.

Summer:
How does it show up for you? Like is it is it like a sensory thing and an emotional thing? Like what what are some sort of examples of how you how it shows up in your life and how you feel it?

Ivy:
Yeah. Because I have a holistic perspective on life. Like that’s just the way I’ve approached life. I realized that my HSP is holistic, right? And by that, I mean, it’s mental, emotional, physical and energetic for me. So being in a intimate relationship with my husband, like having someone else who notices me, like from the outside differently, but from a place of compassion also teaches me, right. So it shows up for me physically, like, my body is extra sensitive. It shows up for me energetically, like I pick up on energies very easily. I’m also intuitive. So I have that happening in my life. And then also in, I’m in a community actually first sensitive. And then learning more about it, I learned that sensitives even see colors be more brightly. And here’s, you know, like you said, music and sounds in a different way. And so then I realized, Oh, this is why when I tell people don’t you see this, and they’re kind of like me. But for me, it’s very vivid. And you know, so I think it shows up definitely, and all of who I am. That sensitivity shows up.

Summer:
Mm hmm. Yeah, it’s interesting. I never thought about it from from like, an energetic perspective. But as soon as you said that, I was like, Oh, yes. Like, I think that’s why sometimes, there’s certain, like situations or people where I’m just like, This is not good. This is I need to just get out of here. Like, and it’s not to say that that person is wrong, or the situation is wrong, but it’s just like, it just has like an effect on me that like, it’s like this reaction of just like, I need to get out like, I need to get out of here. And so, yeah, I hadn’t really I hadn’t really thought of it thought about it that way. But that is that is so true. And yeah, and same like touch or, like I cannot wear like itchy sweaters like that is like my nightmare. Like this is why I live in like stretchy pants. Like it all made sense.

Ivy:
There’s so many little things to that. I think like you realize when it’s a thing for you, and it’s not a thing for everyone else in the world, like you said, temperature, you know, it’s definitely all the senses. So temperature Smell Taste, I definitely and I’m sure we’ll get into this a little bit more, but I definitely notice it in like when it comes to food relationship for my body. And that is actually been like a superpower for me because I’m I can eat something and pretty much immediately know if my body is like and not in a diet culture way. But just in a way where it like sometimes I do have food intolerances. So I have sensitivities to food, too. So there’s certain foods that my body is like, no. So yeah, it’s it’s every Yeah. And

Summer:
hearing you speak about it makes me even more aware of myself, because I think you’re you’re more aware of this. This is like newer to me, I would say but when I hear you talk about I’m like, Oh, yes. Oh my gosh, yes. Yes. So it’s really interesting. So yeah, I would love to talk about the relationship between, you know, being a highly sensitive person, and maybe even we start with like, the relationship between being like a highly sensitive person and maybe like dieting, like kind of what I sort of see now is, is that we’re more likely to seek out dieting is almost like this protection from our intense inner world or this, like sense of control and distraction from the, I would say more like emotionally, you know, like the the fear of being rejected or the fear of being judged or things like that? What are your what, you know, what’s your experience with that? Or what are your thoughts on that?

Ivy:
I think it’s so many layers is so complex, like, we could have a whole series on this. But I feel like because the sensitivity is there, like for me, being a person who lives in a large body, and also who lives with chronic illness, that which is PCOS, polycystic ovarian syndrome. So when you experience people’s feedback, right about your body, especially fat phobia, comments about your size, and things like that, if you’re a highly sensitive person, that’s going to hit harder, because you’re already sensitive, right? So that’s already difficult for any human to navigate those things. But when you’re a person who’s sensitive, it really hurts you know, and that’s one thing that I’ve learned about being a highly sensitive person is that things do hurt physically and emotionally, more than what other people because we experienced everything with more intensity. So you know, that insult or the rejection tends to hit a little bit deeper because you do have the higher sensitivity. So in that what you’re saying about the connection between coping or numbing or escapism from those things it wouldn’t make that makes total sense. Because you’re almost, you’re in a lot of pain, right? Especially if you’re just navigating the world. Let me just kind of like that to stop. And I think also in conjunction with what you were saying about control, because sometimes if you don’t understand HSP, which is being a highly sensitive person, and if you don’t have the tools, then a lot of things in your life can feel out of control, right? Because you’re stimulated, when you don’t want to be like you’re stimulated a lot by external things. And so I think that, you know, perhaps dieting, controlling of food, and things like that can feel like some sense of being able to control something in your life where you live in a world where you’re constantly feeling out of control.

Summer:
Yeah, that makes so much sense. Yeah, like, I think for me, it’s like I have, I can have a pretty intense in our world. Like, I can see now how fixating on food, and like constantly sort of thinking about like, what I’m going to eat, how I’m going to work out and like all these things that I would fixate on, you know, decades ago, how that would give me like that escape, and that way of avoiding the more intense stuff that goes on inside my head, which, which is really, I think, also, you know, now I realize it’s just about like processing feelings, like so long as I sort of have the tools to identify and process feelings, then that inner world like the thoughts, that’s what I mean by inner worlds aren’t as intense. I don’t know if that’s your experience with that, too. But that’s how I see you. Yeah,

Ivy:
definitely. In a match. I’m thinking we’ll probably get into this a little later in the competition. But yeah, like the learning the tools changed everything. For me, it shifted so many things. And it became that’s what led to me being such a big advocate now for, you know, holistic wellness and energy management and a lot of other things, because I’ve seen how they’ve changed my life. And I mean, 180, right. And it’s helped me to feel empowered, and more at peace. So yeah, yeah, definitely, I can understand how being an HSP it can feel like just an escape because, or even numbing hmm. And then maybe even

Summer:
like, it would, you would perhaps have, like more resistance to doing work around making peace with your body because it feels so vulnerable. And or there’s just more kind of, you know, fear associated with what might happen if you kind of loosen the reins of it. I feel like that’s probably something that happens as as well. I mean, what, what do you think sensitive individuals would struggle more with as it relates to making peace with their body?

Ivy:
What I’ve seen, because as being a coach, I have had a lot of highly sensitive clients. I don’t think that’s coincidence. You know, a lot of times when you coach your clients near you, it just happens, right? You attract those people. It’s like, oh, okay, yes, I’ve been here before. So I’ve dealt with people who they didn’t realize it, right, they were just sort of dealing with the external kind of the journey that we’re talking about here, where they’re like, Oh, my goodness, I feel this way. I’m not having my body and people say things that really hurts. And then when we start talking, and I just kind of give them information, say, Have you ever considered that you might be. And of course, I can’t diagnose or anything like that, but I just give them information to read and explore on their own. And then they kind of, you know, can decide whether or not that resonates for them. But for the people that it isn’t alignment for them, I realized that it’s the lack of control, or the feeling like loss of control, and the vulnerability that they really have a struggle with. And I think that’s going back to the beginning of our conversation where you really do want to have some sense of, you know, control. And so they’ve been using these different methods as a means of control or what feels like control. So now, they have to give that up too. And that’s a lot. Also being HSP, we process change differently, right? So life changes can be a little bit more challenging. Transitions can be more challenging, it might need more time. So when you’re going from a certain lifestyle, that maybe you’ve practiced, you know, your entire life, or for decades, and now you know, which in this case, it would be maybe diet culture, or restrictive eating and things like that. And now you’re moving into a whole different lifestyle. Just that transition in that change can be a lot to process as an HSP. So that can be difficult to Yeah, yeah.

Summer:
So I would love to start talking about some of the tools like you mentioned, like once you have the tools like things started to you, it felt more manageable, so well What are some of the tools that you have found to be really helpful for you?

Ivy:
Yeah, for me, it helps to have I call them rituals people can call them routines depends on what word feels good. But basically just things that you consistently do that helps you regulate your nervous system, right. So I’ve found it to be extremely powerful to focus on my nervous system. And by that, I mean, like really, to help calm your nerves, you know, to alleviate some of that stress. And something that I’ve realized from my self, and also in study is that a lot of people who are HSP also live with anxiety. So they’re usually almost always hand in hand. So being able to minimize some of that stress by having regular things that you do, that kind of helps to manage your nervous system and help calm you, I found that to be really powerful, right. And that just looks like for me having like a morning routine, a certain way that I start my day, certain things that I do with myself, right before I interact with any other beings in the world, that really makes a big difference for me. And then also having tools that I use when I do get overstimulated because of HSP. We do get overstimulated easily. So having the tools to kind of regulate that. And for me, that looks like breathwork, meditation, journaling, absolutely music, those things tend to help me a lot. And then also practicing energy management, which for me, I’ll pause because I feel like that’s a deeper conversation we can unpack. But yeah, energy management has also been like really important for me too, which just means managing the energy that I am allowing near me how I use my own energy, the energy input and output. All those things have been really important to

Summer:
Yeah, I love that. Yeah. And I think like, just for people listening, like when you say energy, can you kind of elaborate on like, what that might look like? Or how, because I’m just curious, too. And I feel like for people listening, like they might not necessarily connect with like, what you mean, when you say energy? So yeah, can you just talk about that a little bit more?

Ivy:
Sure. So for me, it’s a holistic approach to energy. And by holistic for the listeners, viewers. Holistic just means you as a whole person, right? So your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual or energetic, whichever word feels good for you. So by energy management, it just means managing your physical energy, your mental energy, your emotional energy, right. So an example of that could be managing the amount of physical energy that you’re exerting. So if you know that you’re expending a lot of physical energy, and that is tiring you out, that’s throwing you off, that’s throwing off the rest of your life, then kind of finding harmony, their mental energy, you know, stress, doing a lot of work, thinking a lot being distracted, having a lot on your mind, it would be managing that mental energy, emotional energy could just be around, you know, your relationships, your interactions with other people, and those things. And then there’s literal energy from the standpoint of like, energetic exchange with other people, because, you know, we all carry a certain amount of energy. So the people that you have around you, are they uplifting? Are they stressful? Are they pouring into you? Are they taking out taking out of you, that would be another example. So those are just all examples of things that would be a part of energy management. And those are things that I’d like deep dive into with, with clients like to kind of help them understand a little bit better in packet. Yeah, yeah, that’s

Summer:
really helpful. I feel like with this, it requires a lot of boundary setting with yourself and like, like, Yeah, cuz I’m hearing you speak to these things. And it’s like, it’s completely counter to our culture, right? Like, our culture is like, do more be more like, it’s like, I find being an introvert, highly sensitive person. Like, it’s just like, we do not mesh with the cultural expectations of who we should be. And so it requires a lot of boundary setting, which is is really tough. Like how do you how do you navigate that? Or what’s your advice to people who really struggle with that? Yeah,

Ivy:
and I guess also think about like energy management. It’s like making sure that you have what you need when you need it, right? That just to make it like as accessible as possible, and giving yourself what you need focusing on your needs. But boundaries is what when you said that it’s just like that because that has been the most challenging part of the journey for me is these past two years have been a lot around boundaries for me, because that was something that I still hadn’t really, I guess mastered, or I’m in the level of, like getting better at that. So yeah, it’s definitely around boundaries around work business, for those of us who work for ourselves, boundaries around relationships, you know, those things. And I would say the focus for me is going back to what I was saying, knowing what I need, and then setting my boundaries based on that, then teaching other people which are, and then upholding those boundaries. So those are, those are the stages, right. And for me, and the most challenging being, believe it or not, is knowing what I needed. Because we’re so indoctrinated with shoulds, just like with diet culture, right? Like you said, you shouldn’t be productive. Or you should go to all the family gatherings, or you should want to go out and like be super, you know, extrovert, if you’re an introvert, like, just really, for me, it was separating between what were the social expectations of me, and what I really needed as a person. And then being okay with that, like you said, it’s it’s countercultural, just being okay with it and say, No, this is what I need. Also, kind of going back to what we were talking about at the beginning of the conversation, knowing that as an HSP, I do have a lot of needs. You know, I need a lot of Magette, like you said, there’s certain fabrics that don’t feel good, or temperatures like this, that was sounds like all these things, and releasing the programming that would tell me that, that I’m too much right, or I’m high maintenance, or I’m difficult. And just embracing that. No, it’s okay. I need these things to flourish. And I’m going to make sure that I have them. And I’m going to make sure that other people who are around me understand what I need, and the people who love me, or respect me. We’ll be okay with that. And those who don’t, that’s okay, too. But we probably have to have some distance.

Summer:
Oh, yeah. I mean, you should see the needs that I have when I sleep like it like, like the pillow case, the body pillow, the temperature, the white noise, the fan like, it’s like, it’s so people will be like, Summer, you’re such a princess. And I’m like, No, I just, I know what I need to sleep. And I like sleep is the most important thing to me. But anyways, no, it was just funny when you said that. But when you were talking about just like people might perceive you as having a lot of needs, but it’s just, you know, yourself. And I think that that’s a good thing. I feel like one of the challenges with this is that especially people who can maybe struggle with like a sense of self worth, and really kind of rely on other people are external things to give them that sense of value. I feel like it’s hard to, you know, say like, yes to your needs here. Because you feel maybe like you’re letting other people down, for example, like saying no to a particular social event, because it’s just you don’t have the energy for it. And so it’s almost like, it’s a challenge, because it’s like you you kind of you know what you need but there’s a part of you that also is almost like too sensitive to the the guilt that might come up by saying no, do you know what I mean? Like, I feel like that’s a real struggle for people.

Ivy:
Oh, yes. I do know what you mean. You Yes, I you know, it’s I feel like it’s a part of the experience such a big part of the experience, at least for me, it has it has been so yeah, what you’re saying has a lot of resonance, because because you are already what feels like very different, right? You already maybe have a really deep need for belonging, because it’s like, Oh, I’ve got a lot going on. So I do want to have some sort of connection with people. So when you’re already opting out of diet culture, you’re opting out these other social things. And now you have these special needs. It’s like it’s a lot, it can be a lot, it can be a lot, because you do want to have connection when people but one thing that I’ve learned is that the more Baby steps, baby steps, the more that I’ve said yes to me and nourishing me, the more it strengthened my confidence. And my belief in this in I’m sorry, it’s strengthened my belief in the fact that I do deserve to have my needs taken care of. And it’s no one else’s obligation to do that. It’s my right, to make sure that I’m taking care of and moving in that way and in embracing that I actually have attracted more people who are in alignment with that. So that has meant that there’s been some, you know, disconnection, right from people who don’t get Got it? Or it’s just like that a lot? Or, you know, Yeah, everybody’s not going to understand. But I have found community and connection with people who are saying, oh, okay, I get it, or I understand it, right? Yes. I’m like that too. You know, you find your people, you attract them in life, and then that actually ends up being better for you. Because now you don’t have to do so much explaining or all of that, because they just get it.

Summer:
Yeah, yes, yes, yes. Yes, totally. I totally resonate with that. I think one of the things that people really struggle with, who are more highly sensitive is rejection. And I know that really intersects with the work that we do. So what’s your advice to people who, you know, they’re afraid of rejection, because it feels like, it is like almost like this physical pain when we’re rejected. Like, it’s, it’s intense, right? Like, how do you navigate that? Or what’s your advice to others?

Ivy:
For me, I think it’s really important to know that it’s okay to feel that way. You know, it’s okay to feel the rejection, feel sometimes the isolation or the alone and feel numbness, those kinds of feelings that might come up, not to shame ourselves for that, to give ourselves compassion and understanding that yeah, this is really difficult thing. You know, because it makes it worse, if you’re experiencing that, and you’re hard on yourself for it, right? So having that self compassion, and then it also helps for me to, again, use those tools in those moments to just nourish myself in those moments when I’m feeling that. So it’s kind of like a self parenting thing, right? If you were to think of like, if you have a child or someone that you’re caretaking, and they’re in pain, you would nourish them, you would kind of help them, you know, sit with them while they’re going through the pain. So being able to kind of do that with yourself and just give yourself space to be not okay, I think that’s the first thing. And then going into some of the tools that I talked about, you know, finding your tools that help you in those moments, because I think it’s really unrealistic to say, oh, no, you’ll get over it, you won’t feel like that anymore. No, that’s bullshit. Like, you what those moments are gonna come, it’s gonna come. So I think it’s realistic to just say you’re gonna have those moments, it’s okay to have those moments. And know what are the tools is going to help you when you’re in the midst of that?

Summer:
Yeah, one of the things I found really helpful is just like working with a therapist, specifically that that uses like, more like somatic sort of therapies and like, really, like does a lot of like, emotional work as much as I hate it. Like I every time I have an appointment, I’m like, oh, I want to go. And then I’m like, Okay, I’m glad I did. I’m glad it did, but, but I find that like, if, like, for me, I need someone to like, guide me through it almost like you know, like our clients sunken when we’re working with them. Like we’re playing that role of helping them sort of process stuff and make sense of it and find new perspectives. And so I like I think that being a highly sensitive person, like to have someone to help you kind of process these things is so if you can, you know, fits within your budget, if you feel you need it, like I feel is so important, because it is immensely helpful. I’m not as good at processing emotions on my own as I am, like when I have someone really trying to, you know, dive into it with me, because my natural reaction is to kind of put up a shield and run away. And so yeah, I think that especially when it as it relates to like rejection, like if you’re sitting with that pain, or you’re sitting with that shame, like to have someone who can help you through that is like invaluable in my, in my experience, it’s my therapist has helped me work through a lot of things related to that.

Ivy:
Yeah, I love that. Like, what, what I hear you saying is just that communal care, like whether it’s a therapist, community, like maybe other people who are HSP or friends who just understand, I love that you bring that up, because I have had that I have I definitely have therapists, we we’ve definitely talked about these things. I also have a very understanding and supportive partner who when I’m kind of just like, overwhelmed, and you know, it’s I know, like 2019 I remember, we were on a road trip and I was just like, it’s a lot being sensitive and having all these needs because, you know, having food intolerance and this and that, and I was like, you know, I’m, I’m sure people think that it’s just, you know, I’m being difficult, but I’m not. And so he’s just helped me remember that like, okay, that’s the way that you are, and there’s nothing wrong with being that way. And so, you know, through the years, that’s become more of my own understanding of myself as well. And also, I definitely want to point out I don’t know if we were coming to this, but there is a beautiful side of being HSP there’s a magical sizing interesting. So it’s a trade off. It’s definitely some challenges but when you think about oh my gosh, I could have this and this and this. There’s also that helps too when you think about like how magical you are.

Summer:
Yeah, yeah, I wanted to get to that, like, what some of the benefits are like, I think that for me, it’s like, yeah, like just experiencing joyful things are like love, you know, like, when I see my child or when I see something like, you know, like a puppy or something, you know, it’s like, there’s that it just you feel it all through your body and, and, and like music and things. And and yeah, so I think also like, especially, that’s probably why we’re both in this kind of healing profession because we naturally pick up on other people what other people are feeling or sensing like very intuitive. And so it puts us in like a really good role in a good position to play that that role of coach or or helper.

Ivy:
Yeah, absolutely. Like, my intuition, like being intuitive has, it’s like a major superpower of being a really great new fad. Because, you know, you pick up on things from your clients, and not so much what I love about it. For me, it’s not so much to be diagnostic with it, but just to pick up on it and be able to help them kind of see it and realize it in themselves. Right. So just having that superpower to be able to do that. But also just in everyday life being HSP is super awesome. Because man, you know, foods, it tastes good, tastes wonderful to us. You know, like you said, music that sounds good. We’re all in it, you know, we feel it and all of that, you know, the sky is brighter, and things that feel good for what sex feels great. orgasms are awesome. You know, like, all those things, we fill in on a different level of intensity, because we are HSP. So those are the things that I remind myself up to like, yeah, you also get this really awesome experience in life. It’s a trade off for some of the challenges, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Summer:
Yeah, I’m so glad you segue to that. Because I do think that that’s like something that we don’t acknowledge, because we sort of focus on the more like negative side of it, either, so to speak, or the part that really makes us struggle with it. But But yeah, I think you’ve just hearing you speak. It’s like, oh, yeah, I need to be more intentional about like, you know, honoring the benefits and the beauty of it. And I think I don’t I don’t think I don’t do that enough. I definitely don’t do that enough. But to to give some level of like acknowledgement to that I think would be super helpful in this in this life.

Ivy:
Yeah, I realize it’s talking to other people who are HSP, kind of like that they there’s something that they don’t experience. And it’s like, oh, man, I wish I could comment, especially when the things that are like, positive are like really great feelings. Like, I wish I could like less you feel what this feels like some, like feel music in your body this way, or feel love in this way, you know, or feel just joy watching something on TV, and it’s like, oh my gosh, are you like crying? And other people like, Oh, it’s okay. It’s pretty good. You know? So for me, I’m like, You guys are a puppy or you know, the office? I don’t know what. Yeah, yeah, totally.

Summer:
That’s where That’s where like, social media can be like a great thing and a terrible thing for sensitive people. Because it’s like, you can see, like, really, you know, heartwarming and amazing things. And then you can also just get sucked into the dark side of it, where you’re just where it’s like, can be so unhealthy. For a sensitive person I find that’s like, one of the boundaries that I find toughest with myself is like really just trying to distance myself from that is like, you know, something that I just check to zone out. But I’m like, This doesn’t feel good when you’re a sensitive person, a lot of the time, depending on what you’re taking in.

Ivy:
Yeah, definitely, like media is probably top on the list of things that have to put boundaries around between social media, you know, movies, things like that. Because you’re taking it in with more than one thing, you know, one of your senses if you’re a person who you know, has that accessibility. So you know, if you’re taking it in through your site, and your staff, you know, and through your hearing in or whatever, you know, you can get really overstimulated with something that is really heavy. And then that doesn’t even take into consideration the energy that you’re picking up from seeing something that has that’s maybe violent or stressful, you know, like 2020 was really difficult. Because there was a lot going on in the world. And it’s just one of those times where I had to really, I had already curated my feed when it came to diet things and body stuff, but I had secure way to even more when it came to news and just certain posts all the time. I had to say, okay, I can I can do like an hour and then that’s it for the day because I can’t consistently overwhelm my nervous system with this. It was like really dysregulated Yes,

Summer:
yes, I know. I never checked Twitter and I checked Twitter the other day and I was like, wow, there’s just so much anger on here. So I deleted it off my phone. I was like this is just not a healthy place. I All, I mean, maybe there’s a good place, but whatever was on my feed was just not it just it was I got such a bad feeling in my body, I was like this, no. And so I deleted like, I don’t need to be on here.

Ivy:
I created like a separate feed, I have a feed for this, I have an account, that’s for business, you know. And then I have one that’s like for plants, because I love plants in the US. But I can go in there and just be in my zone and kind of see happy things. And like, they’re enjoying that. And I think that that’s, you know, another way for me of just managing my energy and taking care of myself and not subjecting myself to things just in the name of work or business or whatever. Because we don’t have to do that to ourselves to grow our business or to be productive.

Summer:
Yeah, I did I have the exact same thing. It’s not plants, but it’s like, it’s other stuff like bands that I like, and stuff like that. But so, I mean, I feel like we could have a whole other episode around like running a business as a highly sensitive person. But to do that one another day. It’s been so great having you on today. Is there anything else that you wanted to just share or say related to highly sensitive people before we wrap it up here, I just wanted to make sure that you were able to kind of talk about everything you wanted to talk about? No, I think the

Ivy:
main thing I just really want people to because I didn’t learn it until later. It’s not a curse. It’s not just a bad thing. You know, it’s important that it’s just like with body acceptance, right accepting it is a part of who you are. And just finding the nuance in it. There is some challenge but there’s also beauty and all of that so I’ve just seen it as an extension of acceptance for me. And you know that body acceptance started external but now this has become more of an internal journey of who I am.

Summer:
Yeah, beautiful. That’s so well said thank you so much for being here. Where can people find you Ivy?

Ivy:
You can find me at Ivy Felicia that calm and on Instagram under imi we Felicia same thing for LinkedIn and Facebook.

Summer:
Amazing. That’s so great. And I’ll link to your previous episode being on here to where you talked about cultivating body acceptance when you have chronic conditions so lovely to see you again. It’s so lovely to have you back on the show. I really appreciate it this discussion anxiety rock on I’m so curious to know if you found this episode helpful if you feel like you have a better understanding of what it means to be a highly sensitive person now and what you took away from it. So yeah, definitely message me if this resonated with you, you can find all the links and resources mentioned including how to connect with Ivy at summer innanen.com forward slash 255 Thank you so much for listening today. I really appreciate it. I’ll talk to you next time rock on.

I’m Summer Innanen. And I want to thank you for listening today. You can follow me on Instagram and Facebook at summer Innanen. And if you haven’t yet, go to Apple podcasts search eat the rules and subscribe rate and review this show. I would be so grateful. Until next time, rock on.