Pick up any magazine or look at any advertisement and you’ll quickly see that we are inundated with messages that we are not good enough.
Our teeth aren’t white enough.
We’re not rich enough.
We don’t have enough orgasms.
We don’t make motherhood look effortless enough.
We’re measuring ourselves against the (bullshit) construct of the female ideal and this has an impact on the way that we evaluate ourselves in every area of our life. We have to stop measuring ourselves to a standard of perfection.
We’re conditioned to see something and assess how we “measure up,” causing us to identify “flaws” and imperfections to fix.
After you’ve woken up to how societal standards and social oppressions have conditioned us to feel inferior, it becomes easier to sniff out bullshit beauty standards and reject them.
It’s easier to say, “no thanks, my teeth are fine being eggshell color.”
However, one thing I see with clients is that this way of thinking hurts our ability to realize our worth and confidence.
We’re wired to seek out where we’re not enough – our imperfections – and this hurts our ability to appreciate where we’re at and who we are.
One of my spidey-senses is to see the power and beauty in people.
And something I’ve noticed is that we don’t give ourselves credit for where we’ve advanced our agency.
When we focus so much on closing the gaps on our imperfections, we’re continuing to deepen the belief that we are not good enough.
We are wired to seek out and identify what is wrong with us.
What if we embraced and celebrated where we are making strides? What if we acknowledged where we are exhibiting authenticity, confidence and self-worth?
Instead of thinking about where you can be more confident, try focusing on where you are being confident.
Instead of fixating on how you have low self-esteem, try acknowledging things you’re proud of.
Instead of ruminating on whether or not you said the right thing, try being proud that you were authentic in the moment.
All of these things are little deposits into the unshakeable belief that you are good enough just as you are.
Because you are.