This is the inner dialogue I grapple with often…

 

You’re a fraud.

You have no idea what you’re talking about.

You write like a 5 year old.

 

{deep breath} Sharing that was not easy. I may ‘appear’ to be a bulletproof confident woman, but every time I post something on social media, the blog or start a new project, my doppelgänger (my ugly inner voice) tells me these things. I am not immune to self-doubt.

 

And if I actually took advice from the broken record that runs through my head, you would not be reading this.

 

I’d loooooove to hide from fear, judgment, mistakes and criticism – it’s this comfort in hiding that kept me trapped in body shame and chronic dieting for so long.

 

The broken record used to attack my body – “Your hips are so gross. Why can’t you get your food under control?”

 

I let it dictate my every action – it stopped me from wearing shorts, eating carbs and going anywhere without 5 layers of self-tanner (true story… I could create a scrapbook of old photos titled “greetings from the sun”).

 

As long as I took direction from that voice, I was body obsessed to protect myself from being judged and hurt.

 

Then I had enough.

 

I chose to start living the life I wanted in the body I had.

 

I spent a ton of time getting over body perfectionism and that involved understanding why that voice was showing up and learning how to no longer take direction from it.

 

But, I’d be lying if I said my doppelganger was forever banished – If anyone tells you that being confident means you never have self-doubt, they are lying or living in Fraggle Rock.

 

I can honestly tell you it rarely attacks my body now, but it does go after other areas of my life – particularly my work because this is where I am most vulnerable.

 

You are not alone.

 

One thing all confident women have in common is self-doubt – Anytime we step outside of our comfort zone and allow ourselves to ‘be seen’, our doppelganger fires up.

 

And there is a whole lot of ‘being seen’ involved in living the life you want in the body you have.

 

What separates those who ‘appear’ assured is their ability to move forward despite what it says. Something I’m practicing as I type this.

 

 

When you stop letting your body dictate your happiness, your doppelgänger is going to get fired up because you’re stepping outside of your bubble of comfort.

 

Wearing a bathing suit in public for the first time is scary. Eating enough food to support your grown ass woman needs is scary if you’ve been depriving yourself.

 

You are going to hear the banter of ‘not good enough-ness’ get louder every time you face a fear, but that doesn’t mean you need to take direction from it.

 

I know now that when I hear that voice I’m on my way to something big. I’m on the cusp of actualizing something more fulfilling than staying hidden.

 

So the next time you hear that voice, remember it’s there because you are on your way to the joy you deserve.

 

This world needs you as you… and those that love you unconditionally are going to stick around until the end. Stepping into your fears is the only way to get there.

 

If you’re ready to be seen, I have a few spots left in my “Overcoming Self-Doubt” workshop on Thursday Sept 10th. We’ll jam for an incredible 90 minutes together (slippers not-optional) and you’ll walk away with a totally new perspective on getting rid of that negative voice in your head to be the woman you desire to be. Registration ends tomorrow, so jazz-walk over here to sign-up and get the details>>>

 

 

PS: Don’t be tardy for the party! Make sure you’ve joined my free online community – the entourage is booming and I’m loving every second of it. Come join us!

 

Be Smashing!