ETR 275: 4 Misconceptions About Body Acceptance (Revisited) (Body Image Series)

SummerBody Image, Eat the Rules, Self-Love, Self-Worth

Podcast in the Body Image Series: 4 Misconceptions About Body Acceptance (Revisited)
Body Image Series: 4 Misconceptions About Body Acceptance (Revisited)

In this episode of Eat the Rules I’m revisiting the Body Image Series, talking all about body acceptance misconceptions and how to make the work more accessible.

I also unpack 4 body acceptance misconceptions that will help you shift your perspective and make accepting your body easier.

In This Episode, We Chat About

  • How body acceptance doesn’t mean loving every part of your body,
  • That body acceptance doesn’t follow the magical thinking of diet culture,
  • Learning to be more compassionate with yourself,
  • Facing and rejecting the fears that keep us from acceptance,
  • Welcoming bad days along with the good ones,
  • How when we are owning who we are it is often uncomfortable, but also the most gratifying,
  • The importance of choosing yourself and making space for all the different parts of yourself,
  • That taking care of yourself looks different to everyone and can change day to day,
  • How body acceptance is intertwined with self-care,
  • That this is a process and the work is continuous,
  • The importance of speaking more compassionately to yourself,
  • Why this work is not about eliminating self-doubt completely,
  • The resilience that comes out of doing this work,
  • Plus so much more!

Listen Now (transcript below)

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Links Mentioned in Show


This episode of eat the rules is brought to you by You, On Fire. You on fire is the online group coaching program that I run that gives you a step by step way of building up your self worth beyond your appearance. With personalized coaching from me incredible community support and lifetime access to the program so that you can get free from body shame and live life on your own terms. Get details on what's included and sign up for the next cycle at summer forward slash you on fire. I'd love to have you in that group. This is eat the rules, a podcast about body image self worth, anti dieting, and intersectional feminism. I am your host Summer Innanen. a professionally trained coach specializing in body image self worth and confidence and the best selling author of body image remix. If you're ready to break free of societal standards and stop living behind the number on your scale, then you have come to the right place. Welcome to the show.

This is episode 275. And it's another installment of the body image series that we are revisiting from a couple of years ago. I'm unpacking four misconceptions about body acceptance that will help you shift your perspective and make accepting your body easier. You can find the links mentioned at summer forward slash 275. I want to give a shout out to Raleigh two that left this review. This is an incredibly smart, insightful, wise dive into diet culture. Every word summer speaks is meaningful and helpful. I listened to quite a lot of body positive haze anti diet content. But this is one of the best I intend on listening to everything several times to fully absorb her message. This is life changing stuff summer and I thank you, thank you so much all the way from Australia. Thank you, I really, really appreciate that that's like really makes me feel happy to hear. I'm so glad it's resonating with all of you. Or at least the person who left that review hopefully, more than just them. Okay, you can leave a review to go to Apple podcasts search for eat the rules, click ratings and reviews and click to leave a review. It can just be super short, it can just be like love it. Exclamation point. And then that's it really helps other people to find the show. And you can also do that by subscribing. It's like a really simple way to just give back without having to contribute anything monetarily. And don't forget to grab the free 10 Day body confidence makeover at summer forward slash freebies with 10 steps to take right now to feel better in your body. And if you are a professional who helps people who also have body image struggles, grab the free body image coaching roadmap at summer forward slash roadmap.

Alright, let's get started with the show. Well, let's get into this week's episode. This is another episode in the body image series. If you've been a listener of this podcast, then you'll know that the body image series is a series of solo episodes where I deep dive into body image and self worth and give you specific ways to be more accepting of your body and who you are. I did a series about six or seven of these episodes earlier in 2020. Before the pandemic, and I was taught I talked about how to build our self worth outside of our appearance, how to overcome comparisons, how to feel better in your body, how to navigate social situations when he feels self conscious, how to stop caring so much about what others think and more. And you can find those episodes, they are number 158 through two 163. And they are available just wherever you're listening to podcasts. Or if you want to find the web page for them with the show notes and the free downloads that went with each episode. You can go to summer, forward slash 158159160, etc. The reason why I wanted to do another episode of the body image series and that's what I'll do going forward is I'll periodically do some body image series episodes. But the last two weeks of this show, I shared my personal story of recovery from decades of chronic dieting and the lessons I learned along the way. Thank you all for your kind words about that episode, those episodes. And you if you miss them, you can listen to those episodes 174 Part One and Part Two, again by going to summer forward slash 174. Both the parts are there or you can just look at the last two episodes via whatever podcast platform you're using. But I wanted to expand on some of the some of that. So I talked about the mistakes that I made along the way. Some of the fears that were in the way some of the lessons that I learned and I wanted to expand on on a piece of that by talking about four misconceptions about accepting your body. So I've talked in the past about The fears that get in the way, I talked about that in Episode 161, detaching from the thin ideal. I talked about, you know, the things that really get in the way of us accepting our body, from the things that block us from even doing this work, like the the idea of, I can't possibly accept this body, or you know, like, what's going to happen to me if I accept this body, or like, I'm too afraid to kind of deal with the emotions underneath. And I talked about all those in that episode. So definitely check that out. But I wanted to talk about just some, like some misconceptions that people have about what it means to accept your body, and then the corresponding truth to the matter. And I'm hoping that by doing this, it can clear up maybe some confusion for you make the work more accessible, make the expectation, lower the expectations that we associate with it, and help you to move forward in a way. So you're not doubting yourself and thinking like, what am I doing by working on accepting myself? Like, I feel like the black sheep or why don't I love my body like all these kind of doubts and fears that come in the way I'm hoping that this will nip those in the bud and and help make this work easier for you. So let's dive in. The first misconception is conflating acceptance with loving your body. If you've been following me for a while, you've probably heard me talk a little bit about this. You know, the misconception is really that we think we have to love every single part of ourselves. And that when we talk about doing body acceptance work, we you know, we imagine that being looking in the mirror and thinking I'm so attractive, or I'm so hot, and we really minimize it to think that it's strictly about our body, like, I need to like my stomach or I like I want to like the way my arms look, you know, we think it's about finding ourselves beautiful quote, quote unquote, and beauty in that sense really meaning attractiveness or prettiness, and, and therefore making it about our desirability. And we don't want to do that, you know, this, this work is not about finding ourselves attractive, you don't have to be pretty or think that you're attractive, to feel good enough inside, I want you to not care about your body, so that you can do beautiful things and notice beautiful things in this world, and admire the inner beauty of others and create beauty with the impact that you have just by existing. You know, that's really what it's what it's all about. And the other piece of this misconception is just that, you know, we think it's about being confident and being confident all the time, and never having our feelings hurt by by criticism. And that's that's not true at all. You know, we are complex beings with feelings. And we have to be really careful that we're not applying the magical thinking of dieting to body acceptance, standing in our power opens us up to judgment and criticism. And I think that we can become more loyal to our values and our beliefs about who we are. But I don't think we can make ourselves bulletproof to criticism that touches the tender spots within us. And that's especially true given the culture that we live in where certain bodies specifically thinner, white, younger, sis, able bodied are dominant and hold more social power. It's really impossible to make yourself immune to that messaging and the various layers of systemic oppressions that you may experience given your identities. And so we don't like that the objective is to not be like bulletproof to criticism and be like, Well, I love myself, like no one can hurt me, that is actually probably more of a defense mechanism. It's about recognizing, like, I have a lot of feelings, I have some tender spots. How can I better become resilient to the messaging in this culture? How can I learn to be more compassionate with myself? How can I learn to overcome some of my fears, so that I can exist in the best way possible, knowing that I'm still going to be exposed to these messages and perhaps experiences based on my identity. And so that's, you know, in a nutshell, accepting your body doesn't mean that you think you're hot. Or to like summarize that. And it doesn't mean that you're not gonna be that you're not going to like totally not care what other people think, because that's just not true, either. But to take a step back for a second just to really talk about our body image Just like where it comes from body images as a result of social oppressions and psychological factors. And so as I mentioned, you know, social oppressions are things like sexism, classism, racism, ableism, ageism, heterosexism, size discrimination, and they all have an influence on the beliefs we have about ourselves, they all have an influence on our body image. And obviously, size discrimination is closely tied to body image in that it instills a belief that fat is bad and thin is good. But all of those oppressive systems can overtly and subtly inculcate a belief of inferiority in a particular individual, depending on their identity. And that's really important to understand, because it's not our fault. If we have a poor body image, it's not our fault. If we struggle to accept ourselves. It's because we've learned and believe to these things based on based on our culture. And that's also why everybody's experience with accepting their body is going to be is going to be different, because everyone has a different identity. And that's really important to understand. But coming back to just the route of, of acceptance, like when I talk about acceptance, it's really about accepting what is. And that means that you're going to have parts of yourselves that you like parts of yourselves that you don't like and parts of yourselves that you feel neutral about. It's about, most importantly, divesting your worth from your appearance, so that you can get to a place where you know, you're valuable and worthy, regardless of how you look. And so that you don't really think about your body anymore. You know, my ultimate goal is to have somebody be able to wake up look in the mirror, either like what they see or not like what they see, but then just be able to, like get on with their day, and not really let it shake them that much. Maybe it's kind of like, not feeling it today. But it's okay, I got shit to get done. Or maybe it's like, oh, I am feeling myself today. Cool, that's okay, too. But knowing that your value is really outside of your appearance, so that it doesn't matter so much anymore. And the core of that is really about having acceptance of our whole selves. And knowing that, you know, we're not striving for some level of perfection, we're not striving to love every part of ourselves, we're not striving to put the hands of our value, sorry, put our value in somebody else's hands is what I meant to say there. And, and so the what you know, the way that I teach this is about letting go of who we think we should be, you know, we have this list of shirts that have been passed down these scripts that we've been given from our culture, about who we should be. And we need to really break up with those, burn them, burn those scripts, and come to the core of who we really are. So instead of thinking I should be thinner, I should be more productive, I should, you know, call my mother more often, it's really about owning who we are. And to do that, we have to understand why we have these and the fears that we have that created those, and that makes it a lot easier to then reject them. It's about you know, what I teach is really about understanding, like our worth, you know, like knowing our worth, and our worth is really two things. It's about knowing who we are, and knowing that who we are as valuable and worthy. And getting rid of who we are not, and letting go of the fear that keeps us hanging on to those parts of ourselves. And in order to build those blocks. So knowing who we are, knowing who we are, is really about understanding our values, the things that really give us fulfillment, the parts of ourselves, that when we are expressing them, we feel most authentic, and knowing that who we are as valuable and worthy is really about, you know, challenging the beliefs that we've been given about what it means to be in a body and exist in this culture. And doing a lot of work around having compassion for, you know, the beliefs that we do hold and really strengthening our inner self talk to be able to treat ourselves like the worthy individual that we are. And you know, it's messy, it's imperfect, it's got ups and downs, but you're not thinking about your body so much anymore, and you're spending a lot more time living your life and that's what's so powerful. The second misconception is that acceptance means that you are good all the time. This is kind of similar to the first one but really talking about an overall perspective of like, you know, this pressure to feel good about yourself every day. And that way if we have a bad day or a bad moment that you know we're failing at this or something is wrong with us. It's kind of like that, you know, hashtag positive vibes only bullshit. That is such a misconception. And where that really will hold us back is in you know, again, thinking we're defective. If we have a bad day or a bad moment think we're thinking we're doing something wrong thinking we're doubting ourselves, looking at everyone else and thinking like oh, they just must be so positive and happy all the time. No, you know, acceptance, again is about accepting what is there. If that is shame, that is what we were accepting if that is sadness, or loneliness or isolation, or uncertainty, we're accepting all of that we're welcoming it in as this in the same way that we welcome in joy and pleasure and excitement and gratitude and all, you know, this whole spectrum of emotions that we will feel. And, and the other part of this is, like, you know, it's this work is not linear or consistent. And I think that's the other thing is that, you know, we expect it to sort of be like, Okay, I take one step forward, and I keep moving forward, and I don't have a bad day again, and then you that ends up and you double down on shame, if you have a bad day. That's not what we want to do. We want to build resiliency, and prioritize Compassion Over perfectionism and trying to be confident all the time. And, you know, the reason why we sort of have this expectation that accepting ourselves means we're just going to feel like so damn good every day is is because of perfectionism. You know, it's this notion that we have to, like every part of ourselves, and, you know, feel good all the time, be productive all the time, like, be the best version of ourselves every day. And that is just so ridiculous. Like, you're never going to be the best version of yourself. Every day, we have to welcome all the different parts of ourselves, we have to see ourselves as dynamic and like going through, you know, like all these different waves of like experiences and emotions and everything else. And that can be really scary. For some people, I think, like some some, you know, people who aren't as, as in touch with their emotions, which is totally fine. I work with a lot of people like that. But that can feel really scary, because you're just like, it feels like you're out of control. But honestly, it's offers you a place to operate in the present moment, instead of trying to, you know, stuffed down feelings and mask them and turn to avoidance and coping mechanisms. And the diet mentality and body shame and everything else that comes from pushing out down emotions. As a result. It's like, it seems scary, but it's not. And then you get to experience all the amazing things like joy, on a much greater level when you can allow yourself to experience all the emotions. And so we're not erasing all emotional discomfort. I think that's the key takeaway there. body acceptance is not about erasing all emotional discomfort. The truth is that acceptance is about accepting the wide range of what makes you who you are, and not just what is deemed good. You know, we are supposed to experience a wide range of range of emotions, as I said, I like to think about us being a bird. And you know, one wing is the more like, quote, unquote, negative emotions. And the other wing is the more quote unquote, positive emotions, we're looking for, like a balance there in order to remain in flight, for lack of a better word, expression. But I like that metaphor. Because when we push emotions down, it only results in increased shame and discomfort. And the truth is, it's it's not about thinking you're good all the time, it's about knowing you're good enough outside your parents, as I said before, and sometimes like some of the biggest acts of self love are really the most painful if you think about it. If you've ever had to set a boundary, or leave a relationship or stand up for yourself, or you know, leave, like leave a job or a friendship or something, because you, you know, you're advocating for yourself and you are being harmed in that relationship or that situation. You know, you are sometimes putting yourself into the fire, but by letting your whole self be seen, and so I think that's really important to recognize that it's, you know, when we are really owning who we are when we are standing in our values and operating our life from that way, it is often uncomfortable, but often the most gratifying because we are giving our power back to ourselves, we are choosing ourselves and not letting ourselves be harmed by by others anymore. And so what I teach is really about making space for and acknowledging all the different parts of ourselves, even the ones that we don't really want to look at, and the tender spots and and accepting that and making compassion for having compassion for all those different parts of ourselves. And and also like celebrating feelings on both ends of the spectrum. So I always just say crying as your eyes having an orgasm. I think that that's really important too. It's a good reframe. If you are one of those people that is afraid to sort of go there to feel your emotions. It's a release, you always feel better afterwards. It's like my toddler sometimes he just needs a good tantrum like sometimes he just needs to lay on the floor and like scream and kick his legs and cry. And you know, I don't let I don't go there. I'd say like, it's okay, stop, like, I, I'm like, You need to have your feelings right now, like, I hear you, like, you're feeling like, this is really hard for you and I just, I'm there with him through it. And then he's so much better afterwards and he sleeps really well. And he's great. And it's like, we lose that ability as, as adults, because we're given these messages that, like, our emotions aren't safe, and they're to be avoided. And we need to, like, you know, put a bandaid over it right away and fix it. Whereas, you know, if if we start to kind of behave like toddlers, or tap into our toddler emotions, we can really start to feel that, you know, that that relief that we get, when we actually like, move through those feelings, instead of constantly stuffing them down. And then, you know, again, relying on coping mechanisms like avoidance and body shame, and other things that don't make us feel good. So, you know, that's just one piece of it, feeling emotions, but it is a big piece of it. And it's about accepting all those that we do that as well. And accepting, like our body, like all the different parts of it to, you know, knowing that we don't have to like our stomach, just accepting what is. And so again, it's just not about feeling good all the time, it's just about accepting what is but through that, like, ultimately, it's a greater sense of peace, a greater sense of freedom. And that is huge, you know, to have like more space in your mind, to be able to focus on the things that you want to do, or even just have more space in your mind to notice, like the fact that the leaves on the trees are starting to change or things like that, that you normally don't even notice, because you're so inside your head. That's what this work is all about. When it's when I talk about acceptance, it's about freeing yourself of those negative thoughts, and being able to, you know, work through them with a sense of compassion, so that they're not just occupying your mind all the time. The third misconception is that, you know, if I accept my body, I'm not going to take care of myself. And that's a huge one, you know, like, if I accept my body, I'm just gonna, like, let myself go, I'm giving up and I won't take care of myself. And I don't know why I have to, like deepen my voice when I say that, but I sort of picture like, some dude on the internet saying that, and that's just, it's just pure bullshit, you know, but I think it's, it's a big confusion, because diet culture has taught us that taking care of ourselves means being thinner. And that that means, you know, eating salads and working out really hard. And like, Listen, I love salads, I really do, I actually do. But it comes from a place of, you know, I enjoy eating that and I eat it when I want to eat it, and then I don't eat it, when I don't want to eat it, I don't eat it, because like, I should eat it, or I'm trying to lose weight or any of that stuff. But anyways, besides the point, I just conflate salads with diet culture, because they often go hand in hand.

But that's a it's a huge misconception. But it really does come from fat phobia, and diet culture. So this idea that you're not taking care of yourself, if you accept your body is really rooted in in fatphobia. You know, and, and so what I want you to think about instead is like, what, what does taking care of yourself mean to you? What comes to mind when you say that, and if you're immersed in diet culture, then it might mean like, okay, watching my weight, avoiding certain foods, or working out X number of times a week. But what is the real emotional and physical toll on you by doing that? And often, if you're immersed in diet, and dieting and diet culture, it's not taking care of yourself, it's depriving yourself it's punishing yourself. It's basically like hating yourself, it's not treating yourself with compassion, it's not listening to your body's needs. It's listening to some playbook by somebody else who is really rooted in, in in fatphobia. And that is what we want to get away from. And we want to redefine what it means to take care of yourself. So the truth is, taking care of yourself is subjective. It's not an obligation. And it's only something that you can define for yourself. And it's about making choices with your physical, emotional and spiritual well being in mind, knowing that sometimes you need to sacrifice one to honor the other, or that sometimes none of those are honored because you're not perfect. The question I like to ask people is like, if you remove the pursuit of thinness out of the equation, what would taking care of yourself look like? Like if what would that look like to you? And some people don't even know because everything that they've been doing is out of the pursuit of thinness, which I totally get because I lived that way for so long. But just to give you some examples, like when I take care of myself, it can look like a whole bunch of different things like sometimes it means eating a giant bowl of ice cream, because it's delicious and sometimes it means I have a chicken salad for lunch, because that's what I feel like. Sometimes it means I go to the gym, sometimes it means I stay on the couch. And I don't do a lot of staying on the couch these days. But back in the day, imagine staying on the couch and watching tons of TV. I say that because I have a toddler. It's not like I can just lay on the couch all day. Oh, I wish I missed those days. But sometimes it means eating something I don't really like or something that makes me bloated because there's no other options available. But I'm hungry. Sometimes it means whatever is in my eating whatever is in my cupboard, because life is really busy. And I just don't have a lot of time to cook. Sometimes it means spending an hour cooking a recipe. Sometimes it means taking time off from an activity that I love. Because my knee hurts, sometimes it means working through the plant, and he paid in order to do a hike I've been dreaming about for months. Again, something I haven't done in a long time. I wrote this a while ago. Sometimes it means you know, staying up late. So I can socialize and be with friends but then feeling terrible later. And sometimes it means saying no to friends, because I really just need my sleep. And so you can see, it's just the point is, is that it's not one size fits all, and that it's about deciding on a daily moment, daily and moment by moment basis, like what my needs are based on my physical, my mental and my spiritual well being. And that there's always going to be some sacrifice, or maybe not always, but often there is there is a little bit of a sacrifice there. But often there are a lot of things that are your physical, emotional and spiritual well being in mind, that's awesome, too. And so what I teach is, is helping people to connect with their body's needs versus your shoulds. And about taking care of yourself by choosing what you want to do and or need in that moment. And knowing that what's best for you may or may not always be, quote unquote, the best for your health according to the internet, or the best according to someone else's opinion. And that's okay, because taking care of yourself, again, is subjective, not an obligation, and it's only something you can define for yourself. And that non obligation part is really important. And I'll also just add, sometimes not accessible to individuals based on based on their experiences based on their abilities, based on their access to things. And so I think that, you know, obviously, there's a level of privilege involved, that comes with being able to say like, oh, I can take care of myself, however I want. Not everybody can do that. And so I think we have to acknowledge that as well like what is actually accessible to us, and try to make the best of what is what we are able to do. And then you know, looking for ways to try to change the systems and make things more accessible for others, if we are able to do so. But ultimately, it's about saying no to the shoulds, you know, like, oh, I should work out or I shouldn't eat that. Like we want to say no to the shoulds and the judgment and the guilt, and say yes to really doing what is best for us. And being the advocate, the best advocate that we can be for our body and our health and our life, the way that you choose to take care of yourself doesn't define your worth, it doesn't make you a better or worse human. And so I think that that's a key piece of it as well. It's like taking that away from you from any kind of like moral meaning to taking care of yourself. I also like to teach like a very broad look at self care so that we're not just looking at physical stuff, we're looking at emotional stuff, we're looking at the you know, not so fun forms of self care, the boring self care, the things that we really need to do to take care of ourselves. And I really can't think of any better way to take care of yourself than accepting who you are valuing who you are respecting yourself, trusting yourself having compassion for yourself. So like if someone honestly believes that if they accept you're their body, they're not going to take care of themselves. It's just, we really haven't thought it through to the point of like, what does it mean to accept yourself, it means having compassion, having respect, having trust, knowing your value outside of your appearance, like I really can't think of any better way to take care of yourself. The last misconception I want to talk about is just this idea that it's like it's a one and done job. Know that this the the idea that if we you know, if we read some books, follow some Instagram accounts, you know, we should feel better, or that we do some work and learn some tools and then just leave it there. But that's just not true. Because until our culture changes, we're going to constantly have these messages reinforced, you know, we're going to be constantly facing advertisements and friends and you know, just experiences in life that reinforce this notion that we are that we're not good enough or that we are more subordinate compared to other groups of individuals. And, and the other thing too, is that like when we talk about changing beliefs, some of that stuff has been in there for decades. And it's not it's it's not just about like, okay, like I'm gonna I try to change that belief, it's, it's like know that there's gonna, you're gonna kind of have this like tender spot and you you have to learn how to live with that. And it's a part of you that you have to have compassion for, and be sensitive to. And that's an ongoing lifelong thing. When I'm working with clients, we always sort of discover or what I call, like, you know, your tender spot. And that's, you know, just certain beliefs that you have about yourself, whether it's like, I believe I don't belong, or I believe that everyone's needs have to come before my own, like something that sort of was like heavily reinforced, usually in childhood, that is always just going to be really tender if it gets triggered. And that's not something that we can just make go away. It's something that we have to acknowledge and care for, and always be compassionate towards, and all that feeds into our body image. So I know I'm talking about other things beyond body. But that's because really, this work is about knowing that we're good enough, regardless of our body size. And so the truth is that changing how we feel about ourselves is about changing our thoughts, and changing our behaviors. And if we don't focus on addressing our thoughts, and then making behavioral changes, then we're going to stay where we are. So it's, it's, you know, we have to be intentional with changing the way we speak to ourselves, for example, actively working on speaking more compassionately, and taking the required steps to move to a place where we think, okay, I maybe don't really like my stomach, but I feel fine. Today, I'm gonna go to the beach, my bikini anyways. And all of these tools have to be used on an ongoing basis. If you stop actively practicing compassion, the negative thoughts return, if you let your self care go by the wayside, the negative thoughts are gonna return, you know, we want to work on continuing to become more resilient to the messages in our culture, and using our resources to then help to change this culture. And in order to do that, we have to be always, you know, leverage it like using our tools, or reaching out for support, and doing the things that we learned to do to reinforce this belief that we are valuable and worthy and good enough as is. And so what I teach is really, that it's just it's not a quick fix, it really isn't. It's a life long process. But I That being said, I do think that we can get to a point where we really just don't think about our body as much anymore, or very much at all. But this belief that we are not good enough is something that we always have to be really tending to. And because the thing is, is that like self doubt, fear, lack of worthiness, all those things are gonna keep showing up in our lives, one because of the culture that we live in. And two, because anytime we step outside our comfort zone, those things start to fire up again. And so, you know, that's something I learned early on, like from the get go the when, when I worked with Tara Mora and did her and her did her playing big facilitators training program to help with my coaching. Just that, you know, self doubt gets loud anytime we're outside our comfort zone. But in order to really live a life where we are, you know, owning who we are taking up space, going after our dreams, we are going to be outside of our comfort zone, and therefore self doubt is going to be there. So that's why we always have to be tending to that part of ourselves, learning how to work through it, it's never about eliminating it completely. And those are the tools that I give to, to in my programs and the people I work with to help with that as well. And those tools can be used on a daily basis without having to spend a lot of time on them. It's really just about shifting the way that you're thinking, reframing things and feeling things through in the moment. And it makes makes it quite easy. And so that's, you know, having the expectation that it's a quick fix is really again, or that it's like a one and done job is again, kind of like the mentality of diet culture. It's sort of that like magical thinking. And I guess the whole point of this episode is just that it's not like that, we cannot apply that magical thinking of diet, diet culture, to working on accepting our bodies.

And we have to understand that, you know, it's going to be a process, there's going to be ups and downs, it's never just going to be like, Okay, I got to this place, and like I just feel good about myself every single day all the time. And it's awesome. It's just not like that. It's just, there's always gonna be ups and downs, but you're having to have such a greater sense of peace and freedom and your mind, you're going to be able to have access to tools and ways of thinking about things to help you in the moments to be able to work through those moments when self doubt or fear or a feeling of unworthiness arises and to just be like so much more attuned to your own needs and who you are. So that other people's opinions and comparisons and things like that don't shake you as much so you just become so much more resilient to living in this culture. And that's really what it's all about. That's what's so awesome. So hopefully that helps to give you just you know a little bit more of a reference point to what this work is all about. And if you've been struggling with it maybe this is this is perhaps why and if you you know if you're curious to learn more you can always check out my program you on fire, all the things I mentioned here in terms of what I teach or things that I teach in my program you on fire with a three month group online coaching program, you can go to summer Innanen dot com forward slash you on fire to get details about that.

Okay, cool. So that's a wrap on this episode. You can find all the links and resources mentioned in this one at summer forward slash 275. Thank you so much for listening today. I really appreciate it. I'll be curious to know what you took away from this one. So definitely DM me or email me send me a message I'd love to know. Talk to you later rock on. All right, I hope you enjoy that one. You can find the links mentioned at Summer in n Forward slash 275 Thank you so much for being here today. Rock on. I'm Summer Innanen. And I want to thank you for listening today. You can follow me on Instagram and Facebook at summer Innanen. And if you haven't yet, go to Apple podcasts search eat the rules and subscribe rate and review this show. I would be so grateful. Until next time, rock on.

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