Letting go of your former thinner or “ideal” body is essential to accepting your body and who you are now.
Last week I talked about 2 must-know facts to help you stop longing for your former or “ideal” body. Intellectually knowing these 2 facts is only a small piece of the puzzle. Truly letting go of your desire for your former body or wishing you could lose weight requires deeper work, so grab your sledgehammer because we’re going to start breaking this shit apart over the next couple of weeks.
This week we’re going to look at why it’s so damn hard to stop wishing you could lose weight and wishing for a thinner body.
The reason it’s so hard is because it’s not the body we’re letting go of—it’s the meaning we’ve attached to it.
Think about the body you once had or the one you desire. What comes to mind when you think of it? What does that body represent to you?
For me, that body meant being successful, desirable, exceptional, cool, attractive and was a symbol for “having it all together.” It meant feeling free, in control, protected and powerful. Like. A. Boss.
When we break it down, it’s not the body that we’re letting go of, rather it’s the meaning we’ve attached to it—this is why letting go is hard.
Letting go of your dream to “have it all together,” or whatever you’ve associated with this body, hurts. If you’re like me, you’ve been so focused on chasing this dream for most of your life, so the thought of letting it go floods you with feelings of fear, failure and defeat – it’s no surprise you have a hard time letting that go.
The truth is, the meaning we’ve attached to our former or “ideal” body is a fantasy.
And the only reason we believe it is because the media and diet culture has fabricated this fantasy and sold it to us.
But, when we take our sledgehammer to this fantasy and break down what it’s really all about, we find that it’s fuelled by a desire to feel liked, worthy, lovable and exceptional, which we’ll only ever get for a hot minute through our body (because then you just want more and more and more and there are only so many carbs you can cut before your body says ooohhh heellll noooo).
I want you to get real about what you’ve attached to that body and what it represents to you—because then you’re going to see what you really need.
Do you need to feel loved? Do you need to feel worthy? Then woman, listen up. Because that’s gotta come from within you.
You are worthy and you are lovable JUST AS YOU ARE. You just need to see that for yourself.
We are women with thoughts and feelings, capable of doing incredible things.
YOU are a woman with thoughts and feelings, capable of doing incredible things.
So while it may hurt to let go of the prospect of being admired and being perceived as “having it all together,” we have to see that it’s all a reverie. We have to see that it only prevents us from knowing at our core that we are pretty damn good just the way we are.
Our self-worth will not be given to us by anyone else’s approval or validation. It will not come to you with a different body. It has to come from within you.
This doesn’t mean that you are incapable of feeling free or powerful or successful. Oh no girl. Quite the opposite is true.
When you start to focus on accepting and gettin’ down with who you are on the inside, you will no longer require that external validation. You will feel free. You will get your power back and you will no longer be defined by the gravitational pull of your body.
And when you don’t require external validation to feel that way, your fantasy of wanting a thinner body loses its meaning.
It’s YOUR time. Are you ready?