This is a picture of me when I was 2-ish years old…
I was a mini-badass who fearlessly did what I wanted (including knocking at least 5 years off my parents’ lives) and couldn’t care less about what anyone else thought of me. My body was something I felt good in. It allowed me to cause mischief, cruise down the street in my sweet Cabbage Patch Big-Wheel and rock this fly blue frilly dress.
I was comfortable with my body, who I was and I never questioned my worthiness.
I was me and I was enough.
You were born that way too.
Over the years, my badass-ittude was chipped away by the:
- TV shows that told me I needed to look a certain way to be popular.
- Bullies who told me I “ate too much” and was “fat” and “gross.”
- Magazines that told me how to dress to attract men.
- Other women I admired who thought their bodies were a problem and made me question my own.
- Times I was told I was too much of something—too big, too loud, too needy and too sensitive.
This badass girl that I was born as slowly shrunk away and I tried for years to get her back by trying to make my body smaller.
And isn’t that what all women are told to too? To shrink. To be smaller. To be seen, but not heard. To value ourselves, not based on who we are, but on how we look. To value ourselves, not based on who we are, but on how we look. And we buy into it – all in a quest to feel good about ourselves.
This ripples into every area of our life. Seriously, how often have you thought to yourself: “If only my body was smaller, I wouldn’t…”
- Judge myself so harshly. ALL. The. Time.
- Compare myself to other women whenever I go.
- Think twice about going to the beach in my bikini.
- Second guess my partner’s love for me.
- Be afraid to go after my dream job or take that trip I’ve been fantasizing about.
- Need other people’s approval to feel good about myself.
Listen up women, you are not alone. I felt the exact same way and it wasn’t until I decided to stop trying to shrink who I was and start just being who I was, that I was able to get rid of the body shame and feel confident in whatever the hell my body looks like.
We are not born hating our bodies. We learn it. That means we can unlearn it.
What makes you incredible is YOU. Not whether you have a flatter stomach or “eat clean” (barf) or have your mom’s approval.
You are you and you are enough.
You were born with that badass inside of you. You were born knowing that you are good exactly as you are. That part of you is still there and we can bring her back by shaking off the layers of self-hate.
I’ve helped so many women reconnect with who they really are so their body is simply a vessel for their shenanigans and badassery. With You, On Fire, it’s my personal mission is to help you start living like her today.