It’s that time of year where we are not only inundated with ads about how to achieve a bikini body, but also how many women seem to ‘find the courage’ to wear a bikini.
When a woman who does not have a supermodel figure wears a bikini, she is considered ‘brave’. Should you wear a bikini? Is it brave?
Wearing a bikini is not brave.
Fighting cancer, going to war, giving birth, breaking up a good ol’fashioned street fight in a hick town. Those are acts of bravery. Wearing a bikini to the beach? Not so much.
I totally respect the fact that wearing a bikini in public for many women may feel like it has the same psychological implications as the aforementioned acts of real bravery. I understand that your fear of judgments from other people can send you into a mental tailspin.
The reality is that you are going to be around complete strangers that you will never see again, who could care less about you (that guy that walked by you and glanced at you for 0.005 seconds is not going to remember you 10 seconds from now). Or perhaps you are around friends and family who you fear may judge you – in that case, shame on them.
But, the real problem is in our use of language.
The problem with using the terms ‘brave’ or ‘courageous’ to describe your beach experience is that it feeds this idea that only women of a certain size should be wearing a bikini.
That if you don’t fit that mould and you decide to wear a bikini, you are achieving something worthy of a medal of honour. The more that we fertilize this idea, the more that we promote there is something wrong with us in the first place.
A bikini is a piece of clothing. You put it on. You go to the beach. If you end up saving a beached whale George Costanza-style, then you can call yourself brave.
I respect that women break through major mental barriers to wear their bikini. I am so proud when my clients tell me that they wore a bikini for the first time in years. But, I don’t think they are brave. I think they are finally in a place where they don’t require other people’s approval to be themselves and that is awesome. I commend them for the work they put in to letting go of harsh self-judgments.
At the end of the day, wear the bikini because you can and because you have limited time on this earth to feel the sun on your skin. And because the weather said so.
Let’s stop giving women badges of honour for wearing a bikini. Wouldn’t it be fantastic if it was just normal and not some newsworthy event?
What do you think? I’d love to know your thoughts – sound off in the comments below!
Amen Sista! I love this Summer and couldn’t agree more. Keep spreading the awesome word!
Thanks Courtney!!! xo
This is spot on! :-D
I love this…especially this bit…
“At the end of the day, wear the bikini because you can and because you have limited time on this earth to feel the sun on your skin. And because the weather said so.”
What about when someone says “oh you look great… you lost weight”, as if it’s the best compliment in the world? Makes me want to go eat a cheeseburger.
I was JUST talking about that with some of the ladies in my Rock Your Body program last week. I will most certainly be writing a blog post about it in the future. Some of the time, people say those things with the best of intentions and you can only accept that they don’t know any better. However, if it was an underhanded compliment, they are likely passing their own insecurities onto you – remind yourself of that and don’t let it bring you down. I’ll definitely write more about that later.
Thanks for your comment!
love this and agree- xx
1st–I agree! Anyone can wear a bikini if they want. Go for it!
2nd, though–I am comfortable in my body, and have been told I look great in a bikini, but I’ve never found one that I feel as comfortable in as a one piece. This has nothing to do with body image, and everything to do with the fact that I swam competitively for 10 years and worked as a lifeguard. When I was younger, I spend my entire winter in a one piece, and could wear it around like a normal piece of clothing and feel totally at ease. Going through my middle school/high school years, I wanted to be like everyone else and wear a bikini. I bought at least one every year from the time I was 12, but I never liked any of them, and would always wear a one piece if I wasn’t near friends. This year, I decided to just get one pieces, because why bother buying something that will wind up in the back of my closet? When people asked why I wasn’t wearing a bikini (“you of all people should flaunt your body!” they say) I said “It’s just not me.” So go all you bikini wearers! Rock it! I’m finally sticking to my one pieces, a swimmer at heart.
That’s great Jamie! You go girl! I’m all for wearing whatever makes you feel the most comfortable. I was a lifeguard growing up too…best job ever!!! Except we were allowed to wear 2 pieces under our tank tops (the sporty kind;).